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Thread: COFFEE WARNING
01-13-12, 01:17 PM #1
COFFEE WARNINGAn elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her
husband's sex drive.
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.
"Not a chance," says Mrs. Murphy.
"He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."
"No problem," replies the doctor. "Drop it into his
coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back
in a week to let me know how you got on."
A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how
"Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor."
"What happened?" asks the doctor.
"Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was
immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at
the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make
passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible."
"What was terrible?" said the doctor, "was the sex not good?"
"Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never
be able to show my face in McDonald's again."
"A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle."
(just stole this one hope you don't mind)
The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
President Ronald Reagan
01-13-12, 03:33 PM #2
I guess he had the McMuffin.SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM-Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"
"It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
-General Omar Bradley, United States Army
01-13-12, 04:42 PM #3
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