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05-10-06, 04:45 PM #1Older Than DirtVerified LEO
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I love senior citizens!!!
A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game,
took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him
why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his
"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the
student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young
people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man
walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear
energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing
....and," pausing to take another drink of beer......
The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said,
"You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were
young........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shithead,
what are you doing for the next generation?"Facta non verba
"The good Lord set definite limits on man's wisdom, but set no limits on his stupidity — and that's not fair!" — Konrad Adenauer,
05-10-06, 07:05 PM #2
out damn standingIf you can't do it from a boat. Do you really want to do it?
05-10-06, 07:27 PM #3
lmao ... that was good.Obedience of the law is demanded; not asked as a favor.
05-10-06, 07:29 PM #4
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, he had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Susan told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realising our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding, and out on the Dong."
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"Obedience of the law is demanded; not asked as a favor.
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