Two guys with black eyes......
Two guys with black eyes were talking to each other at work. "What happened?" asked the first. "Miscommunication with my wife." said the second. "Me too" exclaimed the first, "tell me about it."
"Well," said the first guy, "my wife and I were flying to Pittsburg. We went to the ticket counter and there was a buxon young lady working and I mistakenly asked for "2 pickets to Tittsburg, and my wife hauled off and hit me!"
"Man," said the second, :that's almost the exact thing that happened to me! My wife and I were eating breakfast, and I meant to say, "Honey, please pass me the Cheerios," but it came out as "You blood-sucking wench. You've ruined my life!"