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Thread: Joke

  1. #1
    Policefan1978 is offline Officer First Class
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    Joke

    Why did the dentist decide to become a police officer?
    He wanted to take a bite out of Crime.
    May God be with you and your families as you Protect and Serve.

  2. #2
    Captain America's Avatar
    Captain America is offline Reed and Malloy were my FTOs
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    You related to Jenna ???
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  3. #3
    Policefan1978 is offline Officer First Class
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    Not that I know of.
    May God be with you and your families as you Protect and Serve.

  4. #4
    IMGreat101's Avatar
    IMGreat101 is online now The Butcher
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    omg that was funny
    To Live Is To Eat

    IMG could turn a conversation about the weather into a mouthwatering food story. - Cidp24

    And always add bacon! - Shad Kirton, Co-owner/Chef Smokey D's

    There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions.

    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Solomon

    We were all born wild. It was up to our parents to domesticate us.

  5. #5
    Policefan1978 is offline Officer First Class
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    Thank you for the compliment
    May God be with you and your families as you Protect and Serve.

  6. #6
    Policefan1978 is offline Officer First Class
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    Stopped for speeding
    A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer.
    The following exchange takes place. What is thproblem officer?
    Officer: You were drivng 75 in a 55 zone
    No sir, I was going 65 MPH
    Wife "oh Harry you were going 80. (the man gives his wife a dirty look)
    Officer Iam also gving you aticket or a broken tail light
    Man broken tail light?? I didn't know I had a broken tail light.
    Wife Oh harry you've known aboutthe broken tail light for weeks. (the husband gives the wife another dirty look)
    Officer Iam also giving you a citation fornot wearing your seatbelt.
    Why officer I took it off when you were walking to the car.
    Wife harry you never wear your seatbelt.
    The man turns to his wifeand yells shut your mouth!
    The officer turns tothe womanand asks does your husbandtalk to you like this all the time?
    No only when he has been drinking.
    May God be with you and your families as you Protect and Serve.

  7. #7
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    just so you know, Policefan, a comparison to Jenna's sense of humor is really no compliment. She dispenses more corn than a Nebraska field!
    Buttercup and Policefan1978 like this.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  8. #8
    Policefan1978 is offline Officer First Class
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    How is a weatherman paid?
    With a rain check
    May God be with you and your families as you Protect and Serve.

  9. #9
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    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?



    Missletoe!!!
    Buttercup and Captain America like this.
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  10. #10
    Trojan 42's Avatar
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    Guys, don't give up your day jobs.
    Ducky likes this.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  11. #11
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    A guy was walking down the street with a couple of tennis balls in his pocket. A blond asked him what he had , and he said "Tennis balls."Gee," said the blond, "I've heard of tennis elbow, but I bet that hurts a lot more!"
    Thirdwatch likes this.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  12. #12
    Thirdwatch's Avatar
    Thirdwatch is offline Guardian between peace and peril
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    Keith that is great...you maybe could do one about a blonde and a Popsicle stick if that rings a bell
    "All Americans pledge allegiance,a select few show it"

  13. #13
    Trojan 42's Avatar
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    So, at an Old People's Home. And old guy and an old girl get talking, while sitting on a bench in the grounds.
    She asks him what he misses most from his life and he tells her female contact. How his wife would just sit and hold his dick in her hand and how sad it made him that it would never happen again.

    The old lady thinks for a while and says, "We'll I suppose I could do that for you, now and then". So every Friday at 11 they'd meet by the lake and she would hold his dick for him.

    One Friday he is not there, so she walks round the lake to see if he is ok. On the far side of the lake she finds him, sitting on a bench, with another woman holding his dick!

    "You bastard!" She screamed, " What's she got that I haven't?"

    He replied, "Parkinson's".
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  14. #14
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thirdwatch View Post
    Keith that is great...you maybe could do one about a blonde and a Popsicle stick if that rings a bell
    Thirdwatch , you shut the hell up or I'll tell about your fascination with green thongs!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  15. #15
    Thirdwatch's Avatar
    Thirdwatch is offline Guardian between peace and peril
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    Thirdwatch , you shut the hell up or I'll tell about your fascination with green thongs!
    Keith from what I remember I thought it was your call to check out that ambulance call. And I remember that female had her knee enlarged about 5 or so times the normal size and it as pointing at angle. How do you remember the color?
    "All Americans pledge allegiance,a select few show it"

  16. #16
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    All I remember is that I had to have you excuse yourself until "things" returned to normal, and you blamed it on the green thong.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

 

 

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