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10-10-12, 06:10 AM #1
Probably a repost but it made me smile......
A man walks into a pet store and is looking around when he spots a
chimpanzee in a cage marked, "$1000". The man looks a little closer and
discovers that the chimpanzee is wearing a tie and a hat and is twirling
a set of handcuffs around his finger. Curious, the man summons the
shopkeeper and asks him what the deal is with this thousand-dollar monkey.
"Sir, You have discovered our Police Officer Monkeys. This one is our
basic Patrol version. It's got a POST Basic certification; can fire
'Expert' with a Glock, Remington 870, or an AR15; knows the Penal Code
and Traffic Code by heart and is up-to-date on Cultural Diversity and
Active Shooter Response. Very good value for a thousand dollars!"
The man is suitably impressed and moves to the next cage, which is
occupied by a gorilla -- also wearing a hat and tie, but is gnawing on a
pen instead of the handcuffs. The price on this one is $5000.
Shopkeeper exclaims, "Ah, sir! You have discovered the Sergeant model!
This one has a POST Advanced certification, is capable of training any
other monkeys in basic firearms skills, mechanics of arrest, physical
training, investigation and small unit tactics! It can even type! Very
good value for five thousand, sir!"
Impressed, the man moves to the next cage. Inside, he finds an
orangutan, dressed in a suit and tie, holding only a coffee cup. "What
does this one do that he's worth $12,000?" asks the man.
The shopkeeper clears his throat, "Ah, sir, well .... we've never
actually seen him do anything except drink coffee and play with his
dick, but he says he's a Detective."A common mistake made when trying to come up with a totally foolproof design is to completely underestimate the innate ingenuity of fools.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still there on my list of options, so are you coming quietly.........?
10-10-12, 07:36 AM #2
Ha!Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me
We are who we choose to be.
R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012
10-11-12, 03:59 PM #3
I've met some of those'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'
“A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.” Sigmund Freud
10-11-12, 10:06 PM #4
This is relevant.\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
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