Swearing at Work

[katiemh]

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during
the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will be no longer been tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so
That proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
effective manner.

FOR EXAMPLE:

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the ___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a d___.


Thank You, Human Resources

[GM7203]

Ok, I'll try it.

[kdm0409]

TRY SAYING: I wasn't
involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.


I will have to remember this one!

[nitestokker]

Good thread! I have some good ones I have to post, but I have to find them first. Typical unorganized cop.........that's me!

[Lo523]

Good one Katie! However I always try to ingnore HR whenever possible. Plain speaking works for me! lol

[Cochese]

classic!

[Radar]

I dunno. Will have to try that.

I have, in the past, managed to keep my composure, and make it funny, while still letting them know exactly what I wanted to say. I saw it on an X-files episode once, one of the only eps I ever saw, I swear! And i've been doing this everyonce in awhile ever since.

Basically, censor yourself.
Instead of just saying the swear words, try this, it's a good way to get someone laughing. I haven't figured out if they're laughing at me, or with me yet though.

Examples:

You Blankity Blank Mother-Bleeping Blank!
Bleep!
You Bleeping Bleepity Bleep!

Okay, I admit, i'm certifiable.