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Thread: Marriage

  1. #1
    JLK's Avatar
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    Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

    Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

    Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

    Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

    Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

    Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

    Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

    Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
    * The Engagement Ring
    * The Wedding Ring
    * The Suffe-Ring
    * The Endu-Ring
    Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
    * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
    * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
    * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

    It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

    Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

    It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

    There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

    A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

    Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
    Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

    Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
    Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

    There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

    Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

    They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.

    When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

    There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.

    A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -- Bruce Friedman

    A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman

    A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)

    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan

  2. #2
    Xiphos's Avatar
    Xiphos is online now I Void Warranties
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    About to hit 15 years and glad none of this applies.
    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

    I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

    Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman



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