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  1. #1
    Lo523's Avatar
    Lo523 is offline Master Officer
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    (Sexual Content) If Men wrote Problem Columns

    If Men Wrote Problem Columns


    Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
    A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If your are still apprehensive, may be you should let him be with your friends without you. If you are still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
    Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
    A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin, interestingly most men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.
    Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
    A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relieve and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two ( it’s a great time to clean the house as well ). Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
    Q: My husband does not know where my clitoris is.
    A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best fried to help. You may wish to videotape your self doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday present. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and then cook him a nice meal.
    Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
    A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex and cooking him a nice meal.

    Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me an orgasm.
    A: I am not sure I understand the question. Perhaps you have forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

  2. #2
    KaiGywer's Avatar
    KaiGywer is offline *insert witty remark here*
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    Haha, funny, and so true
    Alpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
    ΑΦΣ

  3. #3
    Sapper_132's Avatar
    Sapper_132 is offline Master Turd Cutter
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    I'm posting this at work!
    Just because your sign off after you're shift is done, doesn't mean that it's over and put blinders on. You're a cop 24/7 wether you like it or not. If thats something you can't handle, you should find a new line of work!

  4. #4
    kdm0409's Avatar
    kdm0409 is offline ^ Female Deputy
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    Even being a woman I still find that funny and true.
    It is better to be tried by 12, than carried by 6.
    ______________________________ __________
    An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.
    ______________________________ __________
    In vino veritas!

  5. #5
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    I would love a nice meal.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  6. #6
    BMBDAWG's Avatar
    BMBDAWG is offline Officer First Class
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    lmao

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    DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

    "ATTITUDE" - I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% on how I react to it.

 

 

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