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Thread: Letter From Walmart
05-23-06, 02:57 PM #1
Letter From Walmart
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months your husband, Mr.
Bill Fenton, has been causing quite a commotion
in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of
behavior and have considered banning the
entire family from shopping in any of our stores.
We have documented all incidents on our video
Three of our clerks are attending counseling
from the trouble your husband has caused. All
complaints against Mr. Fenton have been
compiled and are listed below.
Wal-Mart Complaint Department MEMO
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints -
15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his
spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and
randomly put them in people's carts when
they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told
her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.....
and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and
asked to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET
FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite
them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can
help him, he begins to cry and asks 'Why can't
you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security
camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his
10. November 10: While handling guns in
the hunting department, asked the clerk if he
knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store
suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
12. December 6: In the auto department,
practiced his "Madonna look" using different
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and
when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement
came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room,
shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled,
very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!!!"
05-23-06, 03:48 PM #2
Sounds like fun. Where can I get a copy of the video?
05-24-06, 12:14 AM #3
Turns shopping into a whole new adventure.Job description as told by an Old Timer: "...drive fast cars, look at pretty women, and drink coffee".
05-24-06, 01:41 AM #4
Gotta try some of those ,sounds like fun.
05-24-06, 08:22 AM #5
Good stuff.No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13
"The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".
We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.
05-24-06, 09:58 AM #6
#9 was my favorite
DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
"ATTITUDE" - I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% on how I react to it.
05-24-06, 06:32 PM #7
They all were pretty good. Sounds quite fun!
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it,without making poorer those who give.It takes but a moment, but the memoryof it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that hecan get along without it,and none is so poor but thathe can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,fosters goodwill in business,and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,or stolen, for it is something that is of novalue to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.Give them one of yours, as none needs a smileso much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
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