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  1. #1
    clare911's Avatar
    clare911 is offline Banned
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    Lightbulb Murphy's cops laws

    Bullet Proof vests aren't.
    * The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They punch, kick and choke harder too.
    * The speed at which you respond to a fight call is inversely proportional to how long you've been a cop.
    * Tear gas works on cops too, and regardless of wind direction, will always blow back in your face.
    * High speed chases will always proceed from an area of light traffic to an area of extremely heavy traffic.
    * If you know someone who tortures animals and wets the bed, he is either a serial killer or he works for Internal Affairs.
    * Placing a gun back in a shoulder holster with your finger on the trigger will cause you to walk with a limp.
    * Flash suppressors don't really.
    * If you have `cleared' all the rooms and met no resistance, you and your entry team have probably kicked in the door of the wrong house.
    * If a cop swings a baton in a fight, he will hit other cops more often than he will hit the bad guys he swings at.
    * Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available weapons (living room), to an area with many available weapons (kitchen).
    * If you have just punched out a handcuffed prisoner for spitting at you, you are about to become a star on `Eyewitness News'.
    * Bullets work on veteran cops too. They also work on weight lifters, martial arts experts, department marksmen, Narco Investigators, S.W.A.T. jocks, and others who consider themselves immortal.
    * When a civilian sees a red light approaching at a high rate of speed, he will always pull into the lane the cop needs to use.
    * If you drive your patrol car to the geometric center of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes some dumb civilian will pull along side you and ask for directions.
    * You can never drive slow enough to please the citizens who don't need a cop, and you can never drive fast enough to please the ones who do.
    * Any suspect with a rifle is a better shot than any cop with a pistol.
    * From behind you, the bad guys can see your night sights as well as you can.
    * On any call, there will always be more `bad guys' than there are good guys, and the farther away your back-up, the more there will be.
    * The longer you've been a cop, the shorter your flashlight and your temper gets.
    * Whatever you are about to do, if there is a good chance it will get you killed, you probably shouldn't do it.
    * You should never do a shotgun search of a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boomer."
    * The better you do your job, the more likely you are to be shot, injured, complained on, sued, investigated, or subpoenaed on your day off.
    * If a large group of drunk bikers is "holed-up" in a house, the Department will send one officer in a beat car. If there is one biker "holed-up" in a house, they will send the entire S. W. A. T. Team.
    * The likelihood that you are speaking to an undercover law enforcement officer, is directly proportional to the number of personal questions being asked of you.

  2. #2
    KaiGywer's Avatar
    KaiGywer is offline *insert witty remark here*
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    Hehe, good one
    Alpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
    ΑΦΣ

  3. #3
    Garda's Avatar
    Garda is offline Policing with nothing but a smile
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    Good but the user is gone ah well and whoever those pics were off was nice!

    She did however forget one:

    Always remember that your equipment and uniform were provided by the cheapest competitor that could rush them through the fastest.

 

 

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