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  1. #1
    ida40dj's Avatar
    ida40dj is offline Officer First Class
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    Talking Texas funnies(just jokeing)

    GOOD
    In Richardson, Texas State Trooper was running radar. He had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting any Then he discovered the problem. A 12 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD!"
    The officer later found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading, "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

    BETTER
    A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Plano, Texas. A $40 speeding ticket was included.! Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

    BEST
    A young woman was pulled over in Austin, Texas for speeding. As the TX State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball." He replied, "Texas State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.
    Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things!

  2. #2
    Roses's Avatar
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    The last one is the best. I laugh each time I think of it or see it.

    ROFL!
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  3. #3
    Lo523's Avatar
    Lo523 is offline Master Officer
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    Very funny!

  4. #4
    dla4079's Avatar
    dla4079 is offline Corporal
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    Quote Originally Posted by ida40dj
    BEST
    A young woman was pulled over in Austin, Texas for speeding. As the TX State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball." He replied, "Texas State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.
    I laughed so hard at this one, I had to get away from the com!!!!!!

    Capt. D. Larimore
    NTISF Gang Unit

  5. #5
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Ya gotta love that no thought response.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  6. #6
    Virginian's Avatar
    Virginian is offline Major
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    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu
    Ya gotta love that no thought response.
    Hell yeah, I love all your responses conalabu

  7. #7
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    Here's an actual Texas event (supposedly) - A cop told me this story so it must be true

    Just north of Sherman, TX, the police were conducting a drug bust, so they put a sign on US 75 that read "Drug Stop ahead - All vehicles will be searched"...

    The sign was placed a few hundred feet before a little makeshift dead-end dirt road leading off the freeway and over a hill.

    They had so many vehicles exiting onto the dirt road that backup had to be called. They all got tickets for leaving the freeway, and a few of them actually consented to the search and had their vehicles seized

    There was no search on US75 - It was a ploy to get them to go down the dirt road
    Last edited by TXCharlie; 06-22-06 at 12:51 AM.

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  8. #8
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    My favorite non-politically correct Texas joke:

    Q.: What's the true defination of a Texan?

    A.: A Mexican too lazy to walk to Oklahoma.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  9. #9
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Stop breathing now, please, Virgin. You are wasting my air.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  10. #10
    Virginian's Avatar
    Virginian is offline Major
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    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu
    Stop breathing now, please, Virgin. You are wasting my air.
    Just wait til I go to the track after work, you'll be lucky if there's any left the way I huff and puff

 

 

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