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  1. #1
    ida40dj's Avatar
    ida40dj is offline Officer First Class
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    Smile why parents get gray hair

    A Father was passing by his son's bedroom and was astonished to see the
    bed
    nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad."
    With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter
    with trembling hands:

    Dear Dad,

    It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
    elope
    with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and
    Mom.
    I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you
    would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her
    tight
    motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's
    not
    only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to
    be
    very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of
    firewood,
    enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
    Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
    anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the
    commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll
    pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she
    surely
    deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to
    take
    care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get
    to
    know your grandchildren.

    Your son,
    Chad

    P. S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I
    just
    wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
    card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me
    to
    come home..
    Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things!

  2. #2
    zpd307's Avatar
    zpd307 is offline Master Officer
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    this is what i have to look forward to?????
    MANNNNN.... YOU MUST BE FAST, BECAUSE I WAS HAULIN ASS WHEN I PASSED YOU!

  3. #3
    ida40dj's Avatar
    ida40dj is offline Officer First Class
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    yep, my daughter is 14 and scares the crap outa me all the time.
    Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things!

  4. #4
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
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    When my youngest was around 16 he was going on holiday to Spain with some mates from his rugby club. Worried what he might get up to, my wife sneaked several packets of condoms into his suitcase.

    We got a postcard that just said, Send More Condoms!

    Am I glad I had sons, I couldn't have coped with daughters.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  5. #5
    cntryboy0531 is offline THE five-oh
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trojan 42
    We got a postcard that just said, Send More Condoms!

    Proud dad????

    lol

  6. #6
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    If, and when, I have kids and one of the little pissers leaves me a letter like this, there may not be a safe time to come home.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  7. #7
    SWAT80's Avatar
    SWAT80 is offline Banned
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    Lol thats priceless.

  8. #8
    Crimebytes2's Avatar
    Crimebytes2 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu
    If, and when, I have kids and one of the little pissers leaves me a letter like this, there may not be a safe time to come home.
    Con, why do I believe you?

  9. #9
    dla4079's Avatar
    dla4079 is offline Corporal
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    That is the funniest thing I have read all day!!!!!

    Capt. D. Larimore
    NTISF Gang Unit

 

 

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