Manners Quiz

[Elle]

1) If you happen to be standing behind a lady in a crowded elevator when she farts loudly,what is the proper verbal response?

A) Could I have the recipe for that?
B) I think I know where Jimmy Hoffa is.....
C) Was that a scream for help from a dying Gerbil?
D) Good thing my cigarette wasn't lit...
E) Better change your shorts in case you get in a traffic accident....

2) When a well endowed lady sporting an extremely low cut neckline leans towards you and notices you making eye contact with 'the twins'......

A) Last time I felt THIS out gunned I was flying over the New Jersey.....
B) Funny how they look just like that picture of a young boy's butt in a bra....
C) I like the way they seem to follow me around the room.
D) I can recommend a good place to get them aligned....
E) Mind if I thump 'em to see if they're ripe?

3) A lady spins around to confront you after your hand is forced up against the center of her gluteus maximus in a jam packed subway....

A) Sorry, I thought I was already in the bowling alley....
B) Just making sure my credit card is still good...
C) If you'd work out, that'd make a great letter holder....
D) Thank goodness, I thought my poor hand was lost forever!
E) Way to go lady, now I'll never find my glass eye!!


4) A slender but extremely buxom lady asks you if a blouse looks too big on her.....

A) The Louisiana Purchase wouldn't look too big on THAT platform....
B) I just lost a gross of pencils....were you taking that test???
C) Ask my guide dog, I just went blind.......
D) No, but it needs two red flags on it.....
E) I used to think your two babies drowned in water, but now I'm not so sure....


5) You are sitting across from a college cheerleader on a train in Colorado who apparently doesn't like wearing certain garments or crossing her legs when she asks if you are enjoying the spectacular view...

A) Why yes, even the tunnel looks great!
B) I'd forgotten what Angela Davis looked like.....
C) How did you know I voted for Bush?
D) Can't see the trees for the forrest.
E) Suddenly I feel like yodeling.....


6) A really cheezy girl you once picked up when schnockered calls to ask why you never called her again after the date....

A) I musta accidentally burned up the number along with the sheets..
B) When I order seafood, I like to choose the crabs myself.....
C) I like to touch bottom when I go swimming....
D) The toll booth down there prefers exact change....
E) I lost interest when I heard your last job was as the night deposit box at the local sperm bank....

[Piggybank Cop]

I passed; I think.

[Emily]

Kelly, you stud.