Results 1 to 8 of 8
Thread: Get Along Little Doggie
-
06-30-06, 11:55 AM #1
Get Along Little Doggie
A West Texas cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy
and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. government" says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows.............. Now give me back my dog."Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.
Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
or otherwise distort statements of fact.FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley
-
06-30-06, 08:53 PM #2
Hallelujah; can I have a witness?
We are the thin blue line
between you
and all the money in the world.
And no you can't have any.
-
06-30-06, 08:58 PM #3
hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! i hate politicians
MANNNNN.... YOU MUST BE FAST, BECAUSE I WAS HAULIN ASS WHEN I PASSED YOU!
-
06-30-06, 09:08 PM #4Rates right up there with defence lawyers.
Originally Posted by zpd307
We are the thin blue line
between you
and all the money in the world.
And no you can't have any.
-
06-30-06, 10:44 PM #5
PDawg.....Way too good, four paws up.
-
06-30-06, 11:41 PM #6
lol
Any Post I make is my opinion only!
I do not have the authority or the permission to post for my Sheriff's Office.
-
07-01-06, 12:17 AM #7
Nice!
"We're surrounded. That simplifies the problem."
Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller, USMC
If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united, separate them. If sovereign and subject are in accord, put division between them. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.
- Sun Tzu, the Art of War
-
07-03-06, 12:45 PM #8
awesome!!!!
Ric
bmbdawg@yahoo.com
DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
"ATTITUDE" - I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% on how I react to it.
Thread Information
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)


LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Reply With Quote


Bookmarks