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  1. #1
    Growler's Avatar
    Growler is offline I is not happy
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    How to Shower like a Man/Woman..

    Got this femail from my sister.. Enjoy.

    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
    lights and darks.
    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the
    way, cover up any exposed areas.
    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more
    sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
    loofah and pumice stone.
    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse
    conditioner off hair.
    Shave armpits and legs.
    Turn off shower.
    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
    Spray mold spots with Tilex.
    Get out of shower.
    Dry with towel the size of a small country. * Wrap hair in super absorbent
    towel.
    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see
    husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
    pile.
    Walk naked to the bathroom.
    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
    Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener
    and
    scratch your ass.
    Get in the shower.
    Wash your face.
    Wash your armpits.
    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
    Pee.
    Rinse off and get out of shower.
    Partially dry off.
    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
    whole time.
    Admire wiener size in mirror again.
    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
    Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel,
    shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
    Throw wet towel on bed.

  2. #2
    Growler's Avatar
    Growler is offline I is not happy
    Verified LEO
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    Sorry all.. I looked back a few postings and realized mine was close to Lo523..

    Accidental.

  3. #3
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    Hey Growler; you need one of the smart mods.

    I tried; it didn't work.

    Thank God I get by on cute.

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  4. #4
    Lo523's Avatar
    Lo523 is offline Master Officer
    Supporting Member Lvl 1
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    Great minds think alike - glad someone shares my sense of humour!

  5. #5
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
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    05-20-06
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    Ain't that the truth.


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  6. #6
    KingSix's Avatar
    KingSix is offline that one guy....
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    rofl
    "Life is a monkey, it goes bananas sooner or later"
    -KingSix

 

 

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