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  1. #1
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    Important secret stuff guys need to know about girls

    WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............


    1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

    2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND
    WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY
    THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

    3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK
    SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

    4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW
    LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE
    WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

    5.WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE
    LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

    6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY
    TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS
    SONG!"

    7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK
    SITTING NEXT TO US.

    8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY
    GOOD AT IT.

    9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US
    BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE
    CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

    10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS
    STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop?)

    11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN
    WE SIT ON IT.

    12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S
    THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING
    STRAIGHT.


    13. WE TYPE IN ALL CAPS SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR US.


    Stolen from a top secret girls web site, don't tell.


    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  2. #2
    Lo523's Avatar
    Lo523 is offline Master Officer
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    Good one!

  3. #3
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
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    Thats a double


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  4. #4
    vicat777's Avatar
    vicat777 is offline Gang Detective/SWAT Sniper
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    You just described my wife after a during a night out!!!!!

  5. #5
    refusetostop's Avatar
    refusetostop is offline Special Operations
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    lol that was good. Here are a few guys that drank to much:


    After a hard day at the office, three guys decide to go out for a cocktail to wind down. The bar becomes very crowded, a few drinks turns into many and soon everyone is tanked. All three lose track of each other and end up going home separately.

    The next day at the office, the three gather by the watercooler to discuss the past evenings events. The first guy says, "I got so drunk last night that I went home and blew chunks." The second guy pipes in, "That's nothing. I got so drunk that I got in my car and drove it right into a telephone pole. Totaled it. I didn't get hurt but now I have no car." The third guy says, "Well, I got so drunk that when I got home, I cussed my girlfriend out and knocked over a candle which lit the apartment on fire. She dumped me, all my belongings are destroyed and the home insurance won't cover the damage."

    The first guy motions the two to come closer and whispers, "I'm not sure you understand. Chunks is my dog."
    Obedience of the law is demanded; not asked as a favor.
    Theodore Roosevelt

  6. #6
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  7. #7
    Cujo's Avatar
    Cujo is offline Officer First Class
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    That is wrong is so many ways.
    Pax
    Cujo

  8. #8
    BabyGirl is offline Rookie
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    OMG!! That is so true and so damn funny!!!!!!!!!

  9. #9
    General Patten's Avatar
    General Patten is offline Surgeon General
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    SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
    Lead is very hazardous to your health.
    Always include Kevlar in your daily diet.


    "I always believe in being prepared, even when I'm dressed in white tie and tails."
    - Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

  10. #10
    dla4079's Avatar
    dla4079 is offline Corporal
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    Quote Originally Posted by refusetostop
    lol that was good. Here are a few guys that drank to much:


    After a hard day at the office, three guys decide to go out for a cocktail to wind down. The bar becomes very crowded, a few drinks turns into many and soon everyone is tanked. All three lose track of each other and end up going home separately.

    The next day at the office, the three gather by the watercooler to discuss the past evenings events. The first guy says, "I got so drunk last night that I went home and blew chunks." The second guy pipes in, "That's nothing. I got so drunk that I got in my car and drove it right into a telephone pole. Totaled it. I didn't get hurt but now I have no car." The third guy says, "Well, I got so drunk that when I got home, I cussed my girlfriend out and knocked over a candle which lit the apartment on fire. She dumped me, all my belongings are destroyed and the home insurance won't cover the damage."

    The first guy motions the two to come closer and whispers, "I'm not sure you understand. Chunks is my dog."

    Wrong, Wrong, Wrong! LMAO!!!!!

    Capt. D. Larimore
    NTISF Gang Unit

 

 

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