Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    KaiGywer's Avatar
    KaiGywer is offline *insert witty remark here*
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    01-02-06
    Location
    Mandan, ND
    Posts
    2,885
    Rep Power
    2764039

    Talking Ireland vs. France

    Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

    "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

    "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

    "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

    Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

    "Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

    Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again.

    "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

    "And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.

    "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

    Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

    "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

    Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day.

    "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

    Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

    "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

    Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

    "Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

    "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and decided there is no way we can feed 200,000 prisoners
    Alpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
    ΑΦΣ

  2. #2
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
    Join Date
    05-17-06
    Location
    Richmond VA
    Posts
    2,207
    Rep Power
    645058
    And that’s the truth so help me God.

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  3. #3
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-16-06
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,406
    Rep Power
    4019285
    How true.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  4. #4
    slamdunc's Avatar
    slamdunc is offline On The Beat
    Join Date
    12-30-05
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    288
    Rep Power
    2179718
    AMEN! That's awesome.
    'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu

  5. #5
    NavLaw's Avatar
    NavLaw is offline Officer First Class
    Join Date
    03-03-06
    Location
    central new york
    Posts
    127
    Rep Power
    57322
    You would think with everyone feeling basicly the same way. The French would figure out how most poeple feel about them. (never could take a hint)
    If you can't do it from a boat. Do you really want to do it?

  6. #6
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
    Join Date
    05-17-06
    Location
    Richmond VA
    Posts
    2,207
    Rep Power
    645058
    Quote Originally Posted by NavLaw
    You would think with everyone feeling basicly the same way. The French would figure out how most poeple feel about them. (never could take a hint)
    Not the people; just the government and the big wigs just like in WW II the “big” guys blew it and the little guys formed the resistance.

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Today In History
    By armygrnt502 in forum Shenanigans
    Replies: 234
    Last Post: 09-16-07, 10:00 PM
  2. Officer Down, France
    By keith720 in forum General Topics
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-22-07, 12:28 AM
  3. Video: R.A.I.D French SWAT Team
    By choubacca in forum The Media Center
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-21-07, 04:25 AM
  4. Hi from France
    By choubacca in forum Introduce Yourself
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 01-18-07, 03:25 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •