For all My Fellas...

**Growler** · 08-10-06, 07:40 PM

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat
hanger. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win!

______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood
and stare at the engine to find out what I should be looking for. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to
fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I
wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and
break wind, as a form of holy communion.

______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no real problem. Lucky you!

______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like
"cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing and most
probably no store is carrying them anyway.

______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist
on taking it apart. I know, despite that this may cost twice as much once
the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it . . . Switching channels is now a custom because of the
7-minutes marathon commercials (you may have noticed).

______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The
true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make
up something else when you ask, so don't ask and be tactful.

______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother
come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more
than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need
to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother too (saves
you an other trip to the store).

______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if you are
feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly remember the name and
recommend it to others.

______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you
were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now!?

______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like
wandering around in the garden with a beer and planning major repairs for
the house or how to resist your attempts of moving to a bigger house
(again).

______________________________ ____________________________

This has been a message for women who are lacking intuitive knowledge
understanding men. Steady tutoring is called for. More will follow.

**dlefdal** · 08-10-06, 09:10 PM

Not funny Growler!!!!!

**Growler** · 08-10-06, 09:16 PM

And you thought I didn't care dle..

**conalabu** · 08-10-06, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by Growler

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat
hanger. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win!

I Have opened more car doors with a coat hanger then a key. I am from NY. ______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood
and stare at the engine to find out what I should be looking for. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to
fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I
wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and
break wind, as a form of holy communion.

No arguement. ______________________________ ______________________________ ______

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no real problem. Lucky you!

Trying to be funny? I don't get sick, and I take care of my wife everytime she is. ______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like
"cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing and most
probably no store is carrying them anyway.

Another joke. I do the shopping. Send my wife and I will eat potato chips, soda and ramen noodles for eternity. ______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist
on taking it apart. I know, despite that this may cost twice as much once
the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

I will replace it if I can't fix it. Most of the time I can fix it though. ______________________________ ______________________________ ______

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it . . . Switching channels is now a custom because of the
7-minutes marathon commercials (you may have noticed).

Again. This is my wife. I don't watch TV, she watches the color changes on the TV. I couldn't watch what I wanted even if I could pry the changer from her hands. ______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The
true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make
up something else when you ask, so don't ask and be tactful.

I don't talk about cars. Guns, perhaps, or books. Or a good beer or steak. Not cars. ______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother
come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more
than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need
to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother too (saves
you an other trip to the store).

No arguement here either. ______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if you are
feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly remember the name and
recommend it to others.

Well duh. ______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you
were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now!?

My wife sees nothing wrong with wearing red tennis shoes with tan pants and an orange shirt. I don't even bother anymore. ______________________________ ______________________________ _______

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like
wandering around in the garden with a beer and planning major repairs for
the house or how to resist your attempts of moving to a bigger house
(again).

I do the cooking, laundry, dishes, gardening, and major repairs. Think she can handle the rest on her own?__________________________ ______________________________ __

This has been a message for women who are lacking intuitive knowledge
understanding men. Steady tutoring is called for. More will follow.

Still love ya, Growler.

**lesta311** · 08-10-06, 11:51 PM

I thought it was funny.........

**pc830cop** · 08-11-06, 04:49 AM

Growler, have you been following me around. Showed this to my 10 yr old niece and current girlfriend of 5 days. My niece just kept saying "yup, uncle joe does that!" I think the new girlfriend was scared off today.