How To Handle A Husband (or boyfriend)

**bufford408** · 08-16-06, 11:16 PM

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."

"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?"

She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."

"And from that moment... we have lived happily ever after."

**Ducky** · 08-17-06, 02:18 AM

I don't know why Mr Ducky looks like

sometimes, I've never done anything remotely similar to that.

Ok, so we used inflated condoms as a target for archery practice one day...

And both he and CountyWolf can tell you that I'm more accidentally dangerous than anything. I honestly didn't MEAN to hit anyone in the groin...

But really, I'm harmless.

(yeah, keep on believing that

)

**MrDucky** · 08-17-06, 05:24 PM

Care to tell them about how you shot your own Brother with an Arrow Ducky??

What about how many times I got hit in the head during one of our first nights together??

Maybe about when we're at your older brothers house and we were showing your neice about self defense and a little about sword play and on the THIRD hit you Drew Blood???

**Ducky** · 08-17-06, 05:32 PM

1) No, not really

2) I was drunk

3) You said "go for it"

(See how they jump out of the way? You didn't.)

**bufford408** · 08-17-06, 07:15 PM

Originally Posted by MrDucky

Care to tell them about how you shot your own Brother with an Arrow Ducky??

What about how many times I got hit in the head during one of our first nights together??

Maybe about when we're at your older brothers house and we were showing your neice about self defense and a little about sword play and on the THIRD hit you Drew Blood???

A little Domestic on the Forum. Hmmm?

**Ducky** · 08-17-06, 08:39 PM

Actually, no. I was drunk, and very clumsy. And in high heels. I sat down on the bed, then kind of fell backwards. No big, I just had to sit up to take my shoes off, right? But Mr Ducky was already there and I kind of clocked him with my elbow.

Then when rolling on my side (I think he was tickling me) I managed to get him with my knee.

I think there was a third konk in there somewhere, but honestly it's kind of fuzzy. He did laugh about it, but that may have just been the concussion talking.

**bufford408** · 08-25-06, 11:14 PM

Originally Posted by Ducky

Actually, no. I was drunk, and very clumsy. And in high heels. I sat down on the bed, then kind of fell backwards. No big, I just had to sit up to take my shoes off, right? But Mr Ducky was already there and I kind of clocked him with my elbow.

Then when rolling on my side (I think he was tickling me) I managed to get him with my knee.

I think there was a third konk in there somewhere, but honestly it's kind of fuzzy. He did laugh about it, but that may have just been the concussion talking.

I believe you Ducky...

**Just KC** · 08-26-06, 12:05 AM

ROFL Ducky!! Too funny!

**Piggybank Cop** · 08-26-06, 12:20 AM

Yes Dear.

**cntryboy0531** · 08-26-06, 12:24 AM

Originally Posted by Ducky

Actually, no. I was drunk, and very clumsy. And in high heels. I sat down on the bed, then kind of fell backwards. No big, I just had to sit up to take my shoes off, right? But Mr Ducky was already there and I kind of clocked him with my elbow.

Then when rolling on my side (I think he was tickling me) I managed to get him with my knee.

I think there was a third konk in there somewhere, but honestly it's kind of fuzzy. He did laugh about it, but that may have just been the concussion talking.

Before me and my ex split up... The first night she stayed the night over at my place.. I clocked her in the HEAD about 4 times while sleeping. The first time I rolled over, and brought my arm across my body, and clocked her right in the side of the head with my elbow, at a pretty good rate of speed. The rest of the times were just bumps and knee's.