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  1. #1
    zap's Avatar
    zap
    zap is offline yeahrightsurewhatever
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    One liners at work

    I heard a great one liner the other night. Deputy asks a guy for ID so the guy pulls out his wallet. Only when he did, he drops a blue condom on the ground.

    Deputy --without missing a beat and totally straight faced says:

    "So, what you gonna do with that? Twist up some blue animals?"




    Anyone else heard a good one lately?
    Stupidity Recognition Technician

  2. #2
    dla4079's Avatar
    dla4079 is offline Corporal
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    OK, let me set this up:
    We have been having a couple of problems with some female officers claiming pregancy so they don't have to go downrange at my unit. One day My Sgts and I were getting our shift rosters ready for shift when I was informed by my Sgt of an Officer claiming pregnant. I let my mouth open before thinking the question out thoroghly and asked:
    "So how long is she going to pregnant this time?"

    My Sgt, with out missing a beat, looked me in the eyes and smiled:
    "Well I am guessing 9 months, or until the baby is born."

    Well I just looked back down at my roster and smiled, my other Sgt is over in the corner laughing his a$$ off, looks at me and says:

    "You asked for that one Cap."

    Thats what I love about my Segeants, they are a blast. Makes the shift fun, wouldn't trade them in for nothing.

    Capt. D. Larimore
    NTISF Gang Unit

  3. #3
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Found a couple of parkers in the backseat of a car one night; this is how the conversation went:

    ME: What're you doing?
    Boy: We're.....looking at stars...
    Me: So....can you see them better from the backseat?
    Boy: hahaha....uh yeah....
    Me: Hey, tell your girlfriend to pull her underwear up from around her ankles, and you both need to get out.


    I also haerd a guy I work with say "It smells like bob marley's ass in here!" when he started searching a car a bunch of MJ using kids were in. I've also used that line a couple times, but we stole it from the ACLU video.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

 

 

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