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  1. #1
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    For Those Who Have Sons

    We Salute You!


    You find out interesting things when you have sons:

    1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

    2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

    3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

    4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
    can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

    5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

    6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

    7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

    8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

    9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

    10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

    11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

    12.) Super glue is forever.

    13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

    14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

    15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

    16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

    17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

    18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

    19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

    20.) Most fire department's have a 5-minute response time.

    21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

    22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

    23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

    24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

    25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  2. #2
    BigDawg's Avatar
    BigDawg is offline K-9 Officer
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    Wow it does produce alot of smoke.



    Enough to make the neighbors to call the fire dept. on you. But its ok because they were impressed too.
    "An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper


    Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!

    "Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
    -Ronald Reagan


    " I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
    General Norman Schwartzkopf

    Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
    (author unknown)


    The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.

  3. #3
    Darin's Avatar
    Darin is offline I'm sooooo gonna score
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    And I have 2 sons Hooti HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  4. #4
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
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    I wish I knew what Clorox was and that I had some. And so do my sons
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  5. #5
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trojan 42 View Post
    I wish I knew what Clorox was and that I had some. And so do my sons
    Bleach.

    http://www.clorox.com/

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  6. #6
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    Trojan, if your gonna do the bleach and brake fluid...why not try the coke and mentos thing too!

    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  7. #7
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
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    and Mentos is??
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  8. #8
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    mentos - the fresh maker! it's a chewy little mint

    http://eepybird.com/dcm1.html
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  9. #9
    ghost98 is offline BEEN THERE BUT NOT EVERYWHERE
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    I just thought about doing the play dough in the microwave thing.

  10. #10
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    where the heck is my brake fluid. honey where is the clorox. no i'm not washing clothes that is what you are for.

    no honey i said i love you.

    oh well i just have to wait until she leaves.


    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  11. #11
    Ivory's Avatar
    Ivory is offline Grrr I hate not working for a jail.....
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    Quote Originally Posted by JLK View Post
    where the heck is my brake fluid. honey where is the clorox. no i'm not washing clothes that is what you are for.

    no honey i said i love you.

    oh well i just have to wait until she leaves.
    Life is a fleeting memory,
    It come and goes,
    But one thing will always remain.
    That is History.
    ~Erin~

  12. #12
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    Y'all know that if you bite on a pep-o-mint lifesaver it makes sparks?
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  13. #13
    Angry Mexican's Avatar
    Angry Mexican is offline Angry Vet
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    Quote Originally Posted by PDawg View Post
    Y'all know that if you bite on a pep-o-mint lifesaver it makes sparks?
    thought that was wint-o-green

  14. #14
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    those too
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  15. #15
    dlefdal's Avatar
    dlefdal is offline LEF'S unofficial mascot
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    Trojan,

    You need to get out a bit more often, dude. WTF? Don't know what Menotos are or what Clorox is?

    What do they use over there, oh that's right. They don't wash their clothes or particularly care about oral cleanliness

    J/K
    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such

 

 

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