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Thread: I've been saved

  1. #1
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
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    I've been saved

    It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way
    the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever
    he told her to do, and pray.

    The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.

    "Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily, "I've been saved."

    "Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun.

    "Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs
    where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

    "Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.

    Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I
    would be assured salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."

    "Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.

    "At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell
    my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."

    "That wicked old bastard" said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years."
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


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    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  2. #2
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    When I first saw the title, I thought it said "I've been shaved" and now I'm wishing it really had said that.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
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  3. #3
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ducky View Post
    When I first saw the title, I thought it said "I've been shaved" and now I'm wishing it really had said that.

    wow ..i see how your thought process works..lucky Mr. Ducky
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  4. #4
    slamdunc's Avatar
    slamdunc is offline On The Beat
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    That is exceptionally funny, but I fear that I will catch a lightning bolt up the ass if I laugh too hard.
    'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu

  5. #5
    kdm0409's Avatar
    kdm0409 is offline ^ Female Deputy
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    I'm wishing that too Ducky, that was just wrong njpd! (But funny as hell!) lol
    It is better to be tried by 12, than carried by 6.
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    In vino veritas!

  6. #6
    Ivory's Avatar
    Ivory is offline Grrr I hate not working for a jail.....
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    ....i have no comment on this one.....
    Life is a fleeting memory,
    It come and goes,
    But one thing will always remain.
    That is History.
    ~Erin~

 

 

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