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  1. #1
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    Don't Blame Them - They're Blonde

    FIRST DEGREE

    A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

    `*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.

    SECOND DEGREE

    Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

    `*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-,_,-:*`*:-

    THIRD DEGREE

    A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

    *:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:! *`*:-,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-
    FOURTH DEGREE

    A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

    *:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,

    FIFTH DEGREE

    What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

    "Is it mine?"

    *:-.,_,.-:*`*:-,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-

    SIXTH DEGREE

    Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her us government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

    `*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-! ,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*

    SEVENTH DEGREE

    Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."

    `*:-,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  2. #2
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Gotta love blondes

    A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a
    show in a small town in Arkansas.

    With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb
    blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts
    shouting:

    "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you
    can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair
    have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep
    women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from
    reaching my full potential as a person. Because you and your kind
    continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but
    women in general, and all in the name of humor!"

    The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,
    "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little smart-a$$ on
    your knee!"
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
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    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



 

 

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