Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Thanks Mom

  1. #1
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    06-05-06
    Location
    Once a New Yawker, Always a New Yawker
    Posts
    5,456
    Rep Power
    1532848

    Thanks Mom

    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
    cleaning."

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
    next week!"

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    " Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
    the store with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
    have wonderful parents like you do."

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just wait until we get home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
    way."

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
    "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

    25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!"
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  2. #2
    Emily is offline Corporal
    Join Date
    06-11-06
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    676
    Rep Power
    275725
    Quote Originally Posted by njpd View Post
    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

  3. #3
    L.E. Psych's Avatar
    L.E. Psych is offline Officer First Class
    Join Date
    09-24-06
    Location
    Southeast Florida
    Posts
    110
    Rep Power
    30209
    Quote Originally Posted by njpd View Post
    25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!"
    My mother and grandmother cursed me when I was 13 and told me when I had a daughter she would be 10x worse than I ever was. Oh my she is only 8 now and if this curse is true I am in a world of trouble, she is already worse than i ever was. I thank both my mom and grandmother any chance I get. It sucks when moms are right!!!! Well I kind of like it when I am right, dang it I even use the phrase "I told you so" among many others.

  4. #4
    MrDucky's Avatar
    MrDucky is offline Ducky's Backup
    Join Date
    07-31-06
    Location
    I'm on Ducky's Six
    Posts
    97
    Rep Power
    11317
    Go figure the two boys I have did turn out like me... and I was the good kid..LOL

    Mine and Ducky's little Deviled Egg?? Well she's as smart and beautiful as Ducky... And is Driving us INSANE!!! So what do you think Ducky Dear?? Did Mom's curse come true??

  5. #5
    bird1's Avatar
    bird1 is offline Corporal
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-17-06
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    1,435
    Rep Power
    584860
    god bless our mothers
    " The hardest thing about disarming an armed suspect is not slipping on your own shit "

    Michael P. Gordon E.O.W 08 Aug 2004




    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such.

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •