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  1. #1
    slamdunc's Avatar
    slamdunc is offline On The Beat
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    He said - She said

    1. He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
    She said . . You wear pants don't you?

    2. He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

    4. He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
    She said . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

    5. He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
    She said . They don't have time.

    6. He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    She said . We don't know; it has never happened.

    7. He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
    She said . . They already have boyfriends.

    She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
    He said . . A widow.

    8. He said .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
    She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
    'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu

  2. #2
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    You been talking to my wife?

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  3. #3
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    i liked the fart one the best
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  4. #4
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    NO comment.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  5. #5
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    NO comment.

    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  6. #6
    1*girl Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by gozling View Post
    i liked the fart one the best
    My thoughts exactly!

  7. #7
    MissMyCaprice's Avatar
    MissMyCaprice is offline Master Officer
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    MissusMyCaprice liked those.

  8. #8
    Welpe's Avatar
    Welpe is offline Wannabe NFL Ref
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    Quote Originally Posted by slamdunc View Post
    1. He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
    She said . . You wear pants don't you?
    Any man with half a clue would never say that lest he ever wants to play what is contained within that bra ever again.

    2. He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
    Poor guy can't even catch a break for trying.

    4. He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
    She said . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
    The BBQ grill ass joke might be apropos here...

    5. He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
    She said . They don't have time.
    You know a "third" might help the foreplay issue...

    6. He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    She said . We don't know; it has never happened.
    The towel rack is a perfectly acceptable substitute TP holder.

    7. He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
    She said . . They already have boyfriends.
    Too much Oprah!

    She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
    He said . . A widow.
    Dominatrix is another word that comes to mind.

    8. He said .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
    She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
    It's a trick women play on men once they sucker them into marriage.

    Time to put on the asbestos armor.
    "To the German commander: 'Nuts!' The American Commander" - General Tony McAuliffe, 101st Airborne Division

  9. #9
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
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    Why do married women usually live longer than their husbands? The men give up the will to live.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

 

 

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