Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Three Kick Rule

  1. #1
    slamdunc's Avatar
    slamdunc is offline On The Beat
    Join Date
    12-30-05
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    288
    Rep Power
    2179719

    Three Kick Rule

    A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas.
    He shot and dropped a duck, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

    As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

    The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now

    I'm going to retrieve it."

    The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

    The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"

    The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"

    The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurred on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

    The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

    The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.

    His second kick to the midriff then made the lawyer lose his early morning breakfast.

    The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

    The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.

    Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, Now it's my turn."

    [I love this part....]

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."
    'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu

  2. #2
    pc830cop's Avatar
    pc830cop is offline Just another squirrel looking for a NUT
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    06-13-06
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    514
    Rep Power
    150889
    Can I move to Texas so I can do that to a lawyer!

  3. #3
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
    Join Date
    04-26-06
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    6,177
    Rep Power
    1401352


    In real life, the farmer's dog would have already retrieved it, and his wife dressed it for dinner.

    Most of the pheasant dinners I've enjoyed growing up were courtesy city-boy hunters.
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  4. #4
    slamdunc's Avatar
    slamdunc is offline On The Beat
    Join Date
    12-30-05
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    288
    Rep Power
    2179719
    Quote Originally Posted by PDawg View Post


    In real life, the farmer's dog would have already retrieved it, and his wife dressed it for dinner.

    Most of the pheasant dinners I've enjoyed growing up were courtesy city-boy hunters.
    That makes them taste ooooh so much better, doesn't it?
    'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu

  5. #5
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
    Join Date
    06-28-06
    Location
    O'ahu Hawaii
    Posts
    4,278
    Rep Power
    610544
    hee heee that was funny
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  6. #6
    L.E. Psych's Avatar
    L.E. Psych is offline Officer First Class
    Join Date
    09-24-06
    Location
    Southeast Florida
    Posts
    110
    Rep Power
    30209
    Quote Originally Posted by slamdunc View Post
    The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

    The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.

    Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, Now it's my turn."

    [I love this part....]

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."
    Gotta Love Texas "Justice"!!!!!! This was too funny, wish it would happen to more pompous, arrogant, scumabg defending lawyers!!!


 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Life Rule
    By dapples in forum General Topics
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-15-07, 08:32 PM
  2. New Rule
    By Victor N TN in forum Shenanigans
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-29-07, 09:02 PM
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-06-07, 12:32 PM
  4. George Carlin's New Rules For 2007
    By Hannibal in forum General Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-17-07, 01:08 AM
  5. OK then can we kick out all the Imams
    By Piggybank Cop in forum In the News
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-29-06, 02:21 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •