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Thread: Three Kick Rule
09-30-06, 05:16 PM #1
Three Kick Rule
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas.
He shot and dropped a duck, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now
I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurred on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff then made the lawyer lose his early morning breakfast.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, Now it's my turn."
[I love this part....]
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu
10-01-06, 03:54 AM #2
Can I move to Texas so I can do that to a lawyer!
10-02-06, 03:45 AM #3
In real life, the farmer's dog would have already retrieved it, and his wife dressed it for dinner.
Most of the pheasant dinners I've enjoyed growing up were courtesy city-boy hunters.Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.
Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
or otherwise distort statements of fact.FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley
10-02-06, 01:09 PM #4
10-02-06, 01:17 PM #5
hee heee that was funnyhttp://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl
We dallied under
Vine maples and sapling alders
Searched for lady slippers
Found blackberry riots and
An old skid road
Brought ghost ferns and
Hollows filled with
While waves wrapped
Intricate lacings of weeds
'Round mule spinners
His cyanotic eyes
Were hard enough to make
The sun turn tail and
Tender enough to attract me
To his world of illusion
10-02-06, 08:55 PM #6
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