Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: police services

  1. #1
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
    Join Date
    06-28-06
    Location
    O'ahu Hawaii
    Posts
    4,278
    Rep Power
    610543

    police services

    hope this was the right place to put this... found it funny

    Police Services...........





    Narcotics units
    Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.
    Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.
    Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.
    Make every case involve overtime $$$.
    Buy bunches of boats, RV's, and motorcycles with that overtime.
    Learn to play golf drunk.

    SWAT units
    Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
    Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
    Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
    Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT
    head nod.
    Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness !
    Learn to play golf wearing a gun.

    Community Service units
    Hate SWAT.
    Work to make everybody love you.
    Paint your office in pastel colors.
    Think Feng Shui.
    Subscribe to Psychology Today.
    Learn to play miniature golf.

    Traffic units
    Write tickets to EVERYBODY.
    Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots.
    Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your stops.
    Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day.
    Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection.
    Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.

    Administrative Units
    Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it's a meeting.
    Upgrade department cell phone every month.
    Tell everybody you are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
    Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
    Golf Rules! Play lots of golf.

    Patrol Units

    Has nerves of steel.
    In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
    Inability to keep mouth shut.
    Has defining tastes in alcohol.
    Is respected by peers.
    Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot.
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  2. #2
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-16-06
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,406
    Rep Power
    4019285
    I love being a patrol....unit.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    05-22-06
    Location
    Aiken County, South Carolina
    Posts
    173
    Rep Power
    595631
    Playing golf wearing a gun really isnt all that hard, nor playing drunk!
    Si vis pacem, para bellum

    And in case you don't speak Latin.......If you want peace, prepare for war.

    I've been places, seen and done things that would make most cry. I've fought along side and against better men then most I come across day to day, i've put my life on the line more then once for things you take for granted and for those you have lost respect for. I don't tell you this for your pity or respect but for you to remember me.

  4. #4
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-18-06
    Location
    Twixt the Moor and the Sea, England
    Posts
    3,003
    Rep Power
    4327281
    I still look good in my Team T shirts.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    05-22-06
    Location
    Aiken County, South Carolina
    Posts
    173
    Rep Power
    595631
    Thats what i'm talking about Trojan! Let them talk trash we earned our t-shirts!
    Si vis pacem, para bellum

    And in case you don't speak Latin.......If you want peace, prepare for war.

    I've been places, seen and done things that would make most cry. I've fought along side and against better men then most I come across day to day, i've put my life on the line more then once for things you take for granted and for those you have lost respect for. I don't tell you this for your pity or respect but for you to remember me.

  6. #6
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-18-06
    Location
    Twixt the Moor and the Sea, England
    Posts
    3,003
    Rep Power
    4327281
    Quote Originally Posted by TacticalTim View Post
    Thats what i'm talking about Trojan! Let them talk trash we earned our t-shirts!

    Yes, but I had to buy my Oakley sun glasses.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  7. #7
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
    Join Date
    06-28-06
    Location
    O'ahu Hawaii
    Posts
    4,278
    Rep Power
    610543
    what about bomb guys? this was pointed out... lol

    1. blow stuff up
    2. think about blowing stuff up
    3. think of new ways to blow stuff up
    4. blow stuff up
    5. think of how to blow up the golf ball and cart.......
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  8. #8
    MonsterMash's Avatar
    MonsterMash is offline Proud 3%er
    Join Date
    05-04-06
    Posts
    1,040
    Rep Power
    3454275
    Quote Originally Posted by TacticalTim View Post
    Thats what i'm talking about Trojan! Let them talk trash we earned our t-shirts!
    Hell yeah. They're just jealous.
    Are you a 3%er? If you aren't, you should be.

  9. #9
    dla4079's Avatar
    dla4079 is offline Corporal
    Verified C/O
    Join Date
    05-23-06
    Location
    Ft. Worth, TX.
    Posts
    504
    Rep Power
    143647

    Gang Unit


    See, thats why everyone needs to be in the Gang Unit. Nothing can be said about Gang Intel, cause we are the best of the best.
    LOL.

    Capt. D. Larimore
    NTISF Gang Unit

  10. #10
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
    Join Date
    06-28-06
    Location
    O'ahu Hawaii
    Posts
    4,278
    Rep Power
    610543
    Quote Originally Posted by dla4079 View Post

    See, thats why everyone needs to be in the Gang Unit. Nothing can be said about Gang Intel, cause we are the best of the best.
    LOL.
    i guess you guys wear too much bling bling hangin with the homeys to play golf ... ?


    *hides*
    lol
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  11. #11
    dla4079's Avatar
    dla4079 is offline Corporal
    Verified C/O
    Join Date
    05-23-06
    Location
    Ft. Worth, TX.
    Posts
    504
    Rep Power
    143647
    Quote Originally Posted by gozling View Post
    i guess you guys wear too much bling bling hangin with the homeys to play golf ... ?


    *hides*
    lol
    Nahh, we play golf, we just do it in STYLE.....

    Capt. D. Larimore
    NTISF Gang Unit

  12. #12
    ghost98 is offline BEEN THERE BUT NOT EVERYWHERE
    Join Date
    06-27-06
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    380
    Rep Power
    50847
    Very good breakdown of the units... Im a little bit of everything listed (or think i am) i dont wear oakleys i wear canal street specials shave every other day, thought about feng shui, check out my relection in store windows to see if my hair is still in place and nothing hanging from my nose, and constantly nauseuos from dept policies.. I do look good in a suit though.

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Miami-dade Law Enforcement
    By phantasm in forum In the News
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-30-07, 12:12 AM
  2. 8 Arrested in 1971 Killing of San Francisco Police Officer
    By OfficerResource.com in forum In the News
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-24-07, 04:54 PM
  3. Benefits for San Diego police not competitive
    By Willowdared in forum In the News
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-21-06, 10:43 PM
  4. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12-29-05, 03:45 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •