police services

**gozling** · 10-02-06, 10:23 AM

hope this was the right place to put this... found it funny

Police Services...........

Narcotics units
Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.
Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.
Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.
Make every case involve overtime $$$.
Buy bunches of boats, RV's, and motorcycles with that overtime.
Learn to play golf drunk.

SWAT units
Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT
head nod.
Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness !
Learn to play golf wearing a gun.

Community Service units
Hate SWAT.
Work to make everybody love you.
Paint your office in pastel colors.
Think Feng Shui.
Subscribe to Psychology Today.
Learn to play miniature golf.

Traffic units
Write tickets to EVERYBODY.
Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots.
Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your stops.
Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day.
Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection.
Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.

Administrative Units
Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it's a meeting.
Upgrade department cell phone every month.
Tell everybody you are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
Golf Rules! Play lots of golf.

Patrol Units

Has nerves of steel.
In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
Inability to keep mouth shut.
Has defining tastes in alcohol.
Is respected by peers.
Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot.

**conalabu** · 10-02-06, 11:30 AM

I love being a patrol....unit.

**TacticalTim** · 10-02-06, 11:33 AM

Playing golf wearing a gun really isnt all that hard, nor playing drunk!

**Trojan 42** · 10-02-06, 11:44 AM

I still look good in my Team T shirts.

**TacticalTim** · 10-02-06, 03:45 PM

Thats what i'm talking about Trojan! Let them talk trash we earned our t-shirts!

**Trojan 42** · 10-03-06, 04:16 AM

Originally Posted by TacticalTim

Thats what i'm talking about Trojan! Let them talk trash we earned our t-shirts!

Yes, but I had to buy my Oakley sun glasses.

**gozling** · 10-03-06, 06:41 AM

what about bomb guys? this was pointed out... lol

1. blow stuff up
2. think about blowing stuff up
3. think of new ways to blow stuff up
4. blow stuff up
5. think of how to blow up the golf ball and cart.......

**MonsterMash** · 10-03-06, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by TacticalTim

Thats what i'm talking about Trojan! Let them talk trash we earned our t-shirts!

Hell yeah. They're just jealous.

**dla4079** · 10-03-06, 10:27 AM

See, thats why everyone needs to be in the Gang Unit. Nothing can be said about Gang Intel, cause we are the best of the best.

LOL.

**gozling** · 10-03-06, 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by dla4079

See, thats why everyone needs to be in the Gang Unit. Nothing can be said about Gang Intel, cause we are the best of the best.

LOL.

i guess you guys wear too much bling bling hangin with the homeys to play golf ... ?

*hides*
lol

**dla4079** · 10-03-06, 10:41 AM

Originally Posted by gozling

i guess you guys wear too much bling bling hangin with the homeys to play golf ... ?

*hides*
lol

Nahh, we play golf, we just do it in STYLE.....

**ghost98** · 10-03-06, 10:42 AM

Very good breakdown of the units... Im a little bit of everything listed (or think i am) i dont wear oakleys i wear canal street specials shave every other day, thought about feng shui, check out my relection in store windows to see if my hair is still in place and nothing hanging from my nose, and constantly nauseuos from dept policies.. I do look good in a suit though.