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  1. #1
    carolina's Avatar
    carolina is offline Master Officer
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    Adults Only "Not for the kids"

    Q.)Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
    A.)So men can be open minded.

    Q.)What's the speed limit of sex?
    A.)68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

    Q.)What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
    A.)The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

    Q.)What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
    A.)You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

    Q.)Three words to ruin a man's ego ..
    A.)"Is it in?"

    Q.)What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
    A.)A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

    Q.)How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
    A.)One of his fingers is clean.

    Q.)What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
    A.)Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. (lol)

    Q.)What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
    A.)They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.


  2. #2
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    tee hee
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  3. #3
    Bosco3379's Avatar
    Bosco3379 is offline I'm the one in the middle
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    Former member of the LNC

    Will take verbal abuse for spare change

    Some Of My Wicked Awesome Signature Banners

  4. #4
    Crimebytes2's Avatar
    Crimebytes2 is offline Banned
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    Funny!

  5. #5
    zap's Avatar
    zap
    zap is offline yeahrightsurewhatever
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    Stupidity Recognition Technician

  6. #6
    CopsRCool302 Guest
    Funny

  7. #7
    Lazy Fed's Avatar
    Lazy Fed is offline Curmudgeon
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    Talking Bad boy Bosco

    Quote Originally Posted by Bosco3379 View Post
    Bosco you weren't supposed to read this It said no kiddies allowed!!!!
    dulce et decorum est pro patria mori


    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass
    Life is to short not to experience Lazy Fed
    ___ ___ ___
    {o,o} {-.-} {0,0}
    |)__) |)_(| (__(|
    -"-"- -"-"- -"-"-
    O RLY?? YA RLY NO WAI!!!!

    The incoherent statements given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency or any other person for that matter. They are MY PERSONAL DELUSIONAL FANTASIES and I accept sole responsibility as such as I am either drunk or stressed out of my mind.

  8. #8
    So Fla Cop's Avatar
    So Fla Cop is offline Trunk Monkey Supporter
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    I fail to see the humor in this. Shouldn't you be in the kitchen or cleaning the house?

    Why should women wear white? So they match the appliances.....
    September 11, 2001 - All gave some, some gave all. Never forget -- Never forgive.......... RIP Brothers and Sisters.

  9. #9
    L.E. Psych's Avatar
    L.E. Psych is offline Officer First Class
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    Oh my this was so funny!!!! Great post I needed a good laugh!!!!!!

  10. #10
    Bosco3379's Avatar
    Bosco3379 is offline I'm the one in the middle
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    Quote Originally Posted by fscf3801 View Post
    Bosco you weren't supposed to read this It said no kiddies allowed!!!!

    Former member of the LNC

    Will take verbal abuse for spare change

    Some Of My Wicked Awesome Signature Banners

  11. #11
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    Quote Originally Posted by So Fla Cop View Post
    I fail to see the humor in this. Shouldn't you be in the kitchen or cleaning the house?

    Why should women wear white? So they match the appliances.....
    dont match wits with the women in here.... your only half qualified


    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  12. #12
    lynnz05's Avatar
    lynnz05 is offline Corporal
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    lol thats funny... and to add to it

    What I say is my opinion, not my employers or that of my academic institution.

  13. #13
    E-man's Avatar
    E-man is offline No bird but dog and 3 cats
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    Those are sooo 1987 but still ring true.

    Why does a Jewish bride smile so much when she is walking down the aisle???

    She knows she has already given her last blow job...

    What does a JAP make best for dinner?

    reservations...
    A monday morning lunatic, disturbed from time to time. Temporary catatonic madman on occasion..

    Lightning crashes a new mother cries, her placenta falls to the floor. The angel opens her eyes,the confusion sets in before the doctor can even close the door..
    The views and comments of E-man are mine and mine alone and therefore might not reflect the views of others or people in my current department. As such since this is still America I can post what I want without fear of retribution. I think.

    RIP Eric

  14. #14
    So Fla Cop's Avatar
    So Fla Cop is offline Trunk Monkey Supporter
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    Quote Originally Posted by gozling View Post
    dont match wits with the women in here.... your only half qualified


    maybe half qualified, but REALLY hard.
    September 11, 2001 - All gave some, some gave all. Never forget -- Never forgive.......... RIP Brothers and Sisters.

  15. #15
    IDBLTAP's Avatar
    IDBLTAP is offline "Donuts...are there anything they can't do?"
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    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?


    Nothing...you already told her twice. (That's my wife's favorite.)

  16. #16
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    Why do men name their penises?


    Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.




  17. #17
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by So Fla Cop View Post
    I fail to see the humor in this. Shouldn't you be in the kitchen or cleaning the house?

    Why should women wear white? So they match the appliances.....
    funny


    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  18. #18
    carolina's Avatar
    carolina is offline Master Officer
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    Quote Originally Posted by lynnz05 View Post
    lol thats funny... and to add to it

    thats funny!


    So are the other ones posted, what a great laugh this morning!

  19. #19
    ghost98 is offline BEEN THERE BUT NOT EVERYWHERE
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    These were all good one liners, Now i have material for the rest of the day. Especially Especially the woman with the two balck eyes...

  20. #20
    OFK's Avatar
    OFK
    OFK is offline Trollicious
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    Quote Originally Posted by So Fla Cop View Post
    I fail to see the humor in this. Shouldn't you be in the kitchen or cleaning the house?

    Why should women wear white? So they match the appliances.....


    Uh ya you better hope that thing drives you out of the County!

 

 
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