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  1. #1
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Who thinks I'm a Smart Ass

    SMART ASS ANSWER #6

    It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
    "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
    "What are my choices?" John asked.
    "Yes or no," she replied.

    SMART ASS ANSWER #5

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

    SMART ASS ANSWER #4

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
    She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
    The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

    SMART ASS ANSWER #3

    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
    "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
    The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
    When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

    SMART ASS ANSWER #2

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
    reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
    Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."


    SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
    I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other ha n d
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
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    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  2. #2
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    LMAO.. i am sending the flight attendant one to my mum cuz that is what she does
    lol
    oh that was a good laugh for me
    thankies
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  3. #3
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Quote Originally Posted by gozling View Post
    LMAO.. i am sending the flight attendant one to my mum cuz that is what she does
    lol
    oh that was a good laugh for me
    thankies
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  4. #4
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    Think; no.
    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  5. #5
    Lo523's Avatar
    Lo523 is offline Master Officer
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    Excellent - going to have to copy and paste those!
    Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.

  6. #6
    Hannibal's Avatar
    Hannibal is offline Zombie Killin' Sheepdog
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    "Stupid should hurt."

 

 

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