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Thread: Why Men are Happier
11-04-06, 02:19 AM #1
Why Men are Happier
Why men are happier...
-- Your last name stays put.
-- The garage is all yours.
-- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-- Chocolate is just another snack.
-- You can be President.
-- You can never be pregnant.
-- You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Actually, You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
-- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-- You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
-- Same work, more pay.
-- Wrinkles add character.
-- Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
-- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
-- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-- One mood all the time.
-- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-- You can open all your own jars.
-- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-- If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
-- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
-- You almost never have strap problems in public.
-- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
-- Everything on your face stays its original color.
-- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
-- You only have to shave your face and neck.
-- You can play with toys all your life.
-- Your belly usually hides your big hips.
-- One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
-- You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
-- You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
-- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
-- You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier...
I got this in an email from one of my cousins and thought it was funny I hope not too many of you have already seen this
Enjoy!Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
11-04-06, 02:59 AM #2
awesome...and true....mostlyIn memory of Carlos Borland.
Trooper Borland was shot and killed when he stopped a car on I-80, just outside of Lovelock, Nevada, whose driver was wanted for not paying for gasoline. Unbeknownst to Trooper Borland, the suspect had just murdered two people in Texas and the vehicle was stolen. Before stopping the vehicle Trooper Borland had requested a check on the plates, but the plates had not yet been entered into NCIC. As he approached the vehicle the man pulled out a .38 caliber handgun and shot him in the head.
The suspect was apprehended later that day. He was convicted of Trooper Borland's murder and sentenced to death.
Trooper Borland had served with the agency for 1 year.
BE SAFE COURTEOUS AND PROFESSIONAL WITH ALL YOUR CONTACTS, AND ALWAYS HAVE A BACK-UP PLAN ON HOW TO KILL THEM.
GOD CREATED COPS SO THAT FIREMEN COULD HAVE HEROS TOO!!!
11-04-06, 11:54 AM #3
Funny, because its trueAlpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
11-06-06, 01:19 PM #4
You can write your name in the snow, without the use of tools.
Pee in the woods? Piece of cake!
Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.
Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
or otherwise distort statements of fact.FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley
11-06-06, 01:22 PM #5
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