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  1. #1
    Terminator's Avatar
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    Life without Bush What's a liberal critic to do without his most beloved target?

    Oft is the question asked of me of late, either a bit sneeringly and with a spittle-flecked tone of right-wing "take that"-ism, or gently and ironically, with prodding humor and genuine curiosity overlaid with all sorts of Obamafied goodvibes: Now what, Mr. Liberal Columnist?
    The Bumbling One has left the building. The banal demon has been forcibly sucked back into the horror-movie canister from whence he escaped eight years ago, and reburied in the back yard of your darkest Ann Coulter nightmare. Dubya, W, Shrub, the Decider, Chimp, Junior, Boy King, Smirk, he ambles no longer across the stage of our collective outrage. The easy punch line is no more.
    It raises the ultimate question for anyone in my line of work: What's a left-leaning columnist (or satirist, political cartoonist, opinionator, et al) to do without the best and finest target in a lifetime? How will I ever survive without the Shrubster to kick around so effortlessly? Where, pray tell, will I ever find such a wicked wealth of material again?
    It is no trivial query. As everyone from Jon Stewart to Steven Colbert to Maureen Dowd knows, Bush and his cadre of flying monkeys presented a beautifully, frighteningly, wondrously easy target, so rich with absurdities and shamefulness and uncanny, phlegmy evil, it was a bit like a foot fetishist at a pedicure expo, an alcoholic strolling through Oktoberfest. How could you not get completely drunk on the whole obscene spectacle of it?
    Ah, but they say with great wealth, comes great responsibility. Such a surfeit of fertile topics also presented a troubling problem: There was simply too much material, too many stories deserving of attention and indignation. Outrage Fatigue became a national pastime, Bush Burnout a common lament. Turns out a glorious glut of the same kind of material is often just as bad as a dearth. The relentless negativity made everyone -- including me -- quite frequently sick indeed.
    Which leads me to my ultimate answer to all those queries, all those who want to know what it feels like to have this wildly generous, epic Republican gravy train lurch off into the sunset once and for all.
    I reply thusly: Oh sweet Jesus, thank you, thank you, thank you. And good riddance. I am thrilled that it's over. Like you cannot believe.
    Here's the thing: While it was often tremendous amounts of fun -- and also hugely rewarding, in terms of response and awareness-raising -- to repeatedly expose and satirize Bush as the destructive cretin he so obviously was, it was also a deeply toxic practice, openly dangerous to mind, spirit and soul alike. Much like working with spent nuclear fuel rods every day, or in an anthrax lab, or a place where they test NASCAR cologne on baby chimps. Spend enough time in that room, you're bound to get cancer. Not to mention inexorably depressed.
    A few years ago I wrote a column in response to a distraught reader who asked why I wasn't writing more about the latest massacre in Rwanda (or maybe it was Darfur, or Haiti, or...). My reply was simple enough: I just couldn't. There was no way I could write about the various atrocities of the world every single column and still hope to keep my heart, my humor, my sanity intact. It was just too painful, too lopsided, like manning the phones every day at a rape-crisis hotline. Gratifying and helpful, yes, but do it long enough and the world quickly turns bleak and hateful indeed.
    What's more, I've always tried to use my column's eccentric range to remind anyone who'll listen that there's far more to life than its ugly underbelly, than man's inhumanity to man and Dick Cheney's inhumanity to everything, despite what we're led to believe by the loudest headlines. After all, as the saying goes, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. If all you have is a Bush, everything looks like a Katrina.
    So then. The Bush Years, you can say, were a wonderfully mixed blessing. On the one hand, I shall forever be perversely grateful to Dubya and his cronies for the electric boost their abundant abuses gave my career, for helping me discover new and creatively humorous ways to write about the ugliest issues of the day, for showing us all what utter failure and misprision look like at the highest levels of government. History deemed Nixon to be perfectly awful. History is still sitting in stupefied shock over Dubya.
    On the other hand, I can't help but exhale a big sigh of unfettered joy at finally being able to put down that armor, lower that particular sword, take off that heavy coat of topical obligation and breathe a bit more freely, both personally and professionally.
    Truly, for all those years it was often ridiculously difficult to wake up in the morning and read the newswires and not feel appalled by something ugly and nefarious recently inflicted upon the world by the worst administration in modern history, to such a degree that I found it impossible not to vent that frustration on the page. To be an opinion columnist, to see and feel what was going on in the world and merely shrug it off, to stay lukewarm and moderate and perky? Inconceivable.
    It now feels a bit like the journalistic equivalent of completing a rough tour of duty in a land of acrimony and intolerance and Donny Rumsfeld's greasy fetish dungeon. "Exhausting" doesn't begin to cover it. "Relieved" seems inadequate. Ecstatic? Liberated? Shocked and awed? That's more like it. God knows I don't ever want to go back.
    Except, of course, when using Bush as a reference point, an acid test, a new kind of perfect punch line. Discussing the Bush Years as a thing we endured, a dark chapter finally completed, that insane car crash we miraculously survived, and contrasting it to the new Obama Method? Oh, hell yes. Referring to Bush in the past tense? I can get used to that.
    Will it now be a bit more challenging to find other equally rich veins of material, now that the tone has changed and Obama is already proving to be so solid, so deeply intelligent, misprision-free, so absolutely, diametrically opposite of everything BushCo stood for? Maybe.
    Then again, no. The bad/good news is there really is no shortage. There is always plenty of corruption, abuse, atrocity, plenty of secretly gay pastors and gluttonous CEOs and gay-hating Repubs and yes, even humiliating Dems to go around.
    But make no mistake, while my overfed inner cynic is sad to see Bush amble off to the ranch, I don't plan on carrying that level of cynicism and outrage forward. Bush was a special case, requiring special amounts of controlled indignation to meet his level of nonstop maltreatment. The Obama Era will, it's already obvious, have no such tone, no such fire hose of malevolence and outright idiocy, and will thus require no such blistering response.
    And while I certainly don't plan to switch gears entirely and sing a new, feel-good, warm 'n' fuzzy song with this column, I do certainly intend to relish playing with a new color palette, to look elsewhere for inspiration and tonal shift, and fully add my voice to the joyous global mantra the planet is still shouting from the rooftops: "Bush-free since 2009!"

  2. #2
    Five-0's Avatar
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    The new past time will be smearing any and all critics of the new savior.

    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM
    "When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it." -- Frederic Bastiat

    "Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." Ernest Hemingway

    The opinions given in my signatures & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Five-0" on Officerresource.com

  3. #3
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    As soon as The Chosen One fails to turn us into a Socialist Eurotrash State they'll turn on him too.
    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

    I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

    Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman

  4. #4
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    ... and you guys say that I write too much bullshit about nothing??

    Now THERE'S an example of drivol.

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  5. #5
    121Traffic's Avatar
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    This guy is suffering from a major case of "I actually think people give a shit about what I say" syndrome.

  6. #6
    Captain America's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countybear View Post
    ... and you guys say that I write too much bullshit about nothing??

    Now THERE'S and example of drivol.
    I fully agree. Dubya is gone. Let it go. Enjoy the "Perfect One" as I'm sure those that wish evil to America will.
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  7. #7
    SPD's Avatar
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    Life without Bush What's a liberal critic to do without his most beloved target?

    Go back to sucking dicks and selling pencils?

  8. #8
    Morris is offline Chief Wheaties Pisser
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    Funny thing is, the libtards in my city continued their Saturday protests. One dipshit wore a T-shirt emblazoned "Arrest Bush." These are bitter, partisan folks who want blood. And yes, When the Obamaination fails to meet their socialist agenda and needs, he too will be thrown upon by the Code Pink types who need something to protest (to give themselves something to feel important about).

  9. #9
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    I was going to ask you if they were still out there.

    I was going to grab a sign that says "Stop Obama's War!" and see how long I could stand out there with them before they turned on me.
    I'm your huckleberry...

    Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentus telum est!

    You can be the weapon, and the gun in your hand is a tool - or the gun is a weapon and you are the tool.


    I was looking for a saint who was a devil of a lover,
    but every girl I found was either one way or the other...



  10. #10
    Morris is offline Chief Wheaties Pisser
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    Well, they get all pissy when I sit there observinb them. But it's alwasy good for a traffic stop or two. One of the old coots toddled over to offer me a brownie and I told him to go away and get out of the street to talk to me. He got his panties in a bunch, all offended and stumbled away.

    Whatever.

  11. #11
    Retdetsgt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morris View Post
    Well, they get all pissy when I sit there observinb them. But it's alwasy good for a traffic stop or two. One of the old coots toddled over to offer me a brownie and I told him to go away and get out of the street to talk to me. He got his panties in a bunch, all offended and stumbled away.

    Whatever.
    The ones we have around here are pretty harmless. They sit on lawn chairs and wave their signs, who cares? After a career of battling the unwashed who were throwing rocks and bottles at us in the streets of Portland, these people are fine with me.
    When I used to be somebody (I'm center top)

    "A burning desire for social justice is never a substitute for knowing what you're talking about". -Thomas Sowell-

  12. #12
    Morris is offline Chief Wheaties Pisser
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    They really have not been a significant issue other than a visual distractor that leads to an increase in collisions and folks running the red light. Do have one who goes into ther traffic to hand out flyers and one who thinks its perfectly okay to have the "F*** Bush" or "Give Bush a Blow***" signs, which usually result in some complaints.

    We have had a couple of small run-ins with them. One of the old hippies tried to get in the face of a pro-troop old Marine (who wave flags and signs one hour before the hippies do). Marine dumped him after he was struck. Damn hippy screamed he was being jack booted when the officers arrested him for assault.

    But beyond that, not much. It's just humerous that so many hate a former president and use the troops to their needs, while never having the balls to serve themselves. I don't have to play nice with them. nor do I.

    But they sure do help with traffic stops and the like.

  13. #13
    countybear's Avatar
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    Ah, memories of Code Pink, a tent on the mall in D.C. during 2006 police week, and Captain America incredulous at what came out of my yap when told of Bush's 'atrocities'...

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  14. #14
    Captain America's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countybear View Post
    Ah, memories of Code Pink, a tent on the mall in D.C. during 2006 police week, and Captain America incredulous at what came out of my yap when told of Bush's 'atrocities'...
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  15. #15
    Jenna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countybear View Post
    Ah, memories of Code Pink, a tent on the mall in D.C. during 2006 police week, and Captain America incredulous at what came out of my yap when told of Bush's 'atrocities'...
    Wish I could have seen that!

  16. #16
    Morris is offline Chief Wheaties Pisser
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    Out of curiosity, did those goofballs at CP have the vajayjay to say bad things about cops or did they keep their pink yaps shut?

 

 

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