Jehovah Witnesses will increase door-to-door recruitment efforts because the swine flu is an early warning sign that the end of the world is coming so

**Terminator** · 05-25-09, 05:31 PM

WEST PALM BEACH — It's the start of the Jehovah Witnesses' convention season, and this year they'll be preparing for the end of the world.
Starting Friday, the Witnesses will host 14 consecutive weeks of conventions at the Christian Convention Center on Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard.
This year's theme, "Keep on the Watch!" is designed to discuss world events and how they relate to the Bible's prophecy of the apocalypse.
While all conventions are open to the public, the Witnesses are specifically inviting the public to a discussion with the provocative title, "How to Survive the End of the World," which will be at 11 a.m. Sunday.
"We feel it is imminent," spokesman Richard Ferris said. "We can't really put a date on it, and the scriptures tell us that nobody knows days or hours, but we'll look at the signs as a theme of our convention and keep on the watch."
Jehovah Witnesses believe that while the apocalypse will be terrible for many, it will be the beginning of a better world for the faithful.
"The fighting against nations, we're seeing more earthquakes, you can look at the swine flu, all this, and it just points to the things that shows we are getting very close to what we feel is the end," Ferris said.
Going door-to-door with Bibles and informational packets has become a trademark for the Witnesses', and Ferris said there's a reason recruiting is such a major part of their religion.
"While we don't relish the thought of destruction that's going to take place, that's why we feel so strongly about door-to-door work and warning people," Ferris said. "If you knew a hurricane was coming, and you were the only one and you didn't tell anybody, it would be on your shoulders."
The Christian Convention Center, formerly the West Palm Beach Convention Center nicknamed the Leaky Teepee, is the Witnesses' largest enclosed gathering place in the world.
There are an estimated 1 million Witnesses in the United States.
Of the 14 conventions during the summer, seven are in Spanish, six in English, and one in French.
Mario Beltrami, the spokesman for this weekend's convention, said it is about more than just discussing the apocalypse - it's also about preparing for it.
"We take Jesus' warning seriously and try to take note of world events that indicate that Jesus's prophecy is being fulfilled regarding the last day," Beltrami said.

**cwtlady** · 05-25-09, 11:21 PM

Thanks for the warning. It's that time of year again.....leaves on the trees, bugs on windshields, thunderstorms and the JW's at the door.

Can they name a time in history that there hasn't been wars and rumors of wars, earthquakes or other natural disasters, and sicknesses that are rampant? The world didn't end then so what makes them think it will end this time? It's just an opportunity for them to profit($$$$) by playing on the fears of people.

**Morris** · 05-26-09, 02:00 AM

Well great. Time to answer the door naked again.

**CTR man** · 05-26-09, 02:40 AM

Originally Posted by cwtlady

Thanks for the warning. It's that time of year again.....leaves on the trees, bugs on windshields, thunderstorms and the JW's at the door.

Can they name a time in history that there hasn't been wars and rumors of wars, earthquakes or other natural disasters, and sicknesses that are rampant? The world didn't end then so what makes them think it will end this time? It's just an opportunity for them to profit($$$$) by playing on the fears of people.

Well, at least its the J-dubs and not mine. Does anyone think they will do like some of these other organizations have done in the past when they think it is the end of the world? Jonestown, Guyana for example?

Makes me wonder what will happen at the end of 2012? The end of the Mayan calendar.

Originally Posted by Morris

Well great. Time to answer the door naked again.

You could always fake a glass eye, look dazed, and pretend its a crystal ball and act like you're holding a seance like my wife's grandfather did. A large glass marble would probably work. I guarantee you they won't be back.

**Ducky** · 05-26-09, 07:04 AM

Originally Posted by Morris

Well great. Time to answer the door naked again.

My brother's friend used some crime scene tape, some ketchup, and a couple of ketchup splattered Watchtower pamphlets on his porch. I just have some pentacles up.

**Morris** · 05-26-09, 05:19 PM

Many years ago, as my first house, they were frequent and annoying. I was working graves so I had to deal with them constantly ringing the bell during the day. I finally had enough one day. I was buck naked, flew down to the door, flung it open and said, "What the fuck do you want?!" An elder and his 12 something son was standing there. They started stammering. I asked them if they want to join the orgy or not. I never knew JWs could run that fast.

Never had a problem after.

I was born and raised Seventh-day Adventist (nearly as wacky). I felt that living by example was the best prostylizing (sp?) I could do.

**Xiphos** · 05-26-09, 05:20 PM

If only 144,000 people can get to heaven, why would you risk losing your spot by recruiting?

**pgg** · 05-26-09, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by Morris

Many years ago, as my first house, they were frequent and annoying. I was working graves so I had to deal with them constantly ringing the bell during the day. I finally had enough one day. I was buck naked, flew down to the door, flung it open and said, "What the fuck do you want?!" An elder and his 12 something son was standing there. They started stammering. I asked them if they want to join the orgy or not. I never knew JWs could run that fast.

Never had a problem after.

I was born and raised Seventh-day Adventist (nearly as wacky). I felt that living by example was the best prostylizing (sp?) I could do.

I strip down, put on war paint, and answer the door with an AR in my hand. My partner did that years ago and they haven't been back since so now the rest of us do that also

**Wolven** · 05-26-09, 07:50 PM

Originally Posted by pgg

I strip down, put on war paint, and answer the door with an AR in my hand. My partner did that years ago and they haven't been back since so now the rest of us do that also

How exciting. I am coming to knock on your door.

**Xiphos** · 05-26-09, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by Wolven

How exciting. I am coming to knock on your door.

Can you knock on my door first?

**CTR man** · 05-26-09, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by pgg

I strip down, put on war paint, and answer the door with an AR in my hand. My partner did that years ago and they haven't been back since so now the rest of us do that also

Originally Posted by Wolven

How exciting. I am coming to knock on your door.

Ok, pgg. Wolven likes the William Wallace type so make sure you have a kilt on to go along with that war paint. She'll be your friend forever.

**pgg** · 05-26-09, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by Wolven

How exciting. I am coming to knock on your door.

Okay Wolven are you prepared to deal with the consequences???

**Jenna** · 05-26-09, 09:28 PM

I wonder what they'd do if you told them you had swine flu when they came to your door.

**Xiphos** · 05-26-09, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by Jenna

I wonder what they'd do if you told them you had swine flu when they came to your door.

What's a little Swine Flu between friends? Especially if you're quarantined together.

**TXCharlie** · 05-26-09, 10:13 PM

Originally Posted by Jenna

I wonder what they'd do if you told them you had swine flu when they came to your door.

Great idea... Maybe buy a Charles Manson t-shirt for answering the door, too, with "Helter Skelter" and a big old Swastika drawn in blood.

**Wolven** · 05-27-09, 05:55 AM

Originally Posted by Xiphos

Can you knock on my door first?

I am sure Mrs Xiphos would be thrilled

**Wolven** · 05-27-09, 05:55 AM

Originally Posted by Ducky

My brother's friend used some crime scene tape, some ketchup, and a couple of ketchup splattered Watchtower pamphlets on his porch. I just have some pentacles up.

I told them I was Wiccan one year...they never came back. Wonder why????

**Ducky** · 05-27-09, 06:43 AM

Originally Posted by Wolven

I told them I was Wiccan one year...they never came back. Wonder why????

I think we scare them. It's been the only time that superstition and bad info have played in Pagan favor.

If you need any help knocking on doors, let me know.

**Xiphos** · 05-27-09, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by Wolven

I am sure Mrs Xiphos would be thrilled

I'm just sayin' she makes a good Chicken Noodle Soup that's great for the flu.

**Wolven** · 05-27-09, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by Ducky

I think we scare them. It's been the only time that superstition and bad info have played in Pagan favor.

If you need any help knocking on doors, let me know.

I can think of no one I would rather knock on doors with...except for Buttercup and I am sure she would come along.

The three of us knocking on doors for nefarious purposes...scary.