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  1. #1
    dotgope's Avatar
    dotgope is offline I'm just sayin'
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    Federal Look and Think Alike Bill

    03/20,2010 - Announced today, the US Government feels all Americans should look the same. A Country that looks alike thinks alike. Polls showed that the majority of US Citizens did not want this new Law, but your Federal Government is here to help and they know better.

    Starting May 1, 2010 you must arrive at your new local Federal Dye Office for mandatory Hair Eye & Skin coloring so all Americans can better match with each other. This procedure will be available until May 1, 2011.

    All newborns will be immediately having their hair, eye and skin color adjusted as soon as the snot and birth juice is cleaned up.
    Any and all Americans who do not abide by the new Law will be taxed, and then imprisoned.

    The cost incurred will not raise taxes nor add to the deficit.

    There will be no more bleaching, colored eye contacts or tanning. In order to avoid any arguments, all people will have their hair, eyes and skin dyed Slate Grey. Anyone caught tanning or bleaching after the procedure is done, will be taxed and imprisoned.



    03/21/2010 - Update: Due to terrible poll numbers, a reconciliation plan has been introduced.

    You DO NOT have to use the items to dye your eyes, hair and skin. But, YOU DO HAVE to purchase it from the Government whether you use it or not. If you do not purchase it, you will be taxed and possibly imprisoned.




    03/22/2010 Update - Due to even more bad Poll numbers, another reconciliation plan has been introduced.

    You DO NOT have to buy the Federal Government Dye Kit, but you must buy one from somewhere.

    If you do not buy one, one of our 17,000 new IRS Agents will come by to Tax and possibly imprison you.

    All Employees of the Federal Government are exempt from this Law, as they know they don't need it, but you, the Citizen, do.

    It's HISTORY in the making

  2. #2
    Captain America's Avatar
    Captain America is offline Reed and Malloy were my FTOs
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    The government is so wise !!!!
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  3. #3
    cajunguy's Avatar
    cajunguy is online now I LOVE my ParaOrd .45ACP!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain America View Post


    The government is so wiseAZZ!!!!

    Fixed that for you, Capt.

    (You can thank me later.)



    .
    The Swamp Mafia -
    "Heaven doesn't want us,
    and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
    .

  4. #4
    depdog's Avatar
    depdog is offline Officer First Class
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    Its not far fetched
    If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed." "The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours."
    -Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, U.S. Army (Ret.)

 

 

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