From The Pages
Top 10 weird headlines of the month E-mail
Written by APB Staff   

1. Police: Man raped girl with his autistic teen son in car

2. Miami man fakes kidnapping to get a ride from police, authorities say

3. Man cited for DUI after striking stop sign at 5 mph

4. Thieves use forklift to steal wood stove

5. Fake cop pulls teen driver over, molests him

6. Woman says she was groped on Disney’s Tower of Terror

7. Central Kentucky Police looking for the Colonel (KFC)

8. Facebook dispute leads to shooting that critically wounds 2 men

9. Police accuse Colorado father of telling kids to bite officers

10. Cops: TSA worker tried to make 12-year-old a sex slave

 
March 2k10 issue letters to editor E-mail
Written by APB Staff   

High praise from youngster

My name is Thomas Vaziri, and I am seven years old. Me and my mom liked the advertisement about the policeman's pants falling down on page 11. Please keep writing funny advertisements and I will read them. I also liked the serious article about the car falling in the sinkhole. I want to be in a SWAT team when I grow up. I really like your magazine and hope you publish my letter. - Sincerely, Thomas Vaziri Jamaica Plain, MA The tutor I am Thomas Vaziri's reading tutor, and I just wanted to thank you for increasing Thomas' enthusiasm about reading. I clip the child-friendly articles and ads for him out of American Police Beat and Thomas reads them with great interest. This newspaper has helped him realize that learning to read better will help him in his future career as a police officer. - Christine Mandell

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January 2010 issue letters to the editor E-mail
Written by APB Staff   

Really?

I can't believe what happened in that incident with the fake robbery that occurred in New Jersey that you wrote up in the November issue of your magazine where the employer came up with the idea of a practice robbery with a pretend gunman without telling the employees first. The employee, who is now traumatized, will press for a lawsuit.  I believe she has every right to do so. The shock of a holdup where hostages are involved is bad enough, but to find out afterward that it was not a real event would send me over the edge.

On the other hand, I can see where the employer is coming from, but only to a certain extent.  The practice drill was a good idea so workers would know what to do in an actual situation, but it was a horrible idea not to alert them first. What if the terrified employee was screaming for help and someone across the street realized what was going on and tried to hurt the gunman? Innocent lives were at stake for an unnecessary situation.  An obvious solution to this problem would be to tell the employees first, then there would be no lawsuit. - Morgan Smallwood

Role model

She is small woman, but criminals know better than to attempt to intimidate her. Her bravery and quality of training was amply demonstrated during the recent incident at Ft. Hood. Wounded in her legs and right wrist, she is expected to recuperate. Sgt. Kimberly Denise Munley, 34, has joined the ranks of American heroes who are willing to put their lives on the line to save others. She will become the poster girl for all women who aspire to become police officers. In WrightsvilleBeach, she earned the nickname of "Mighty Mouse" after saving her partner from an attacker. She is married and has a three-year-old daughter. Her husband, who is a member of the Special Forces, has been recently assigned to Ft. Bragg, N.C. and they plan to move there soon.

As for the killer of Ft. Hood., he has shattered the armored "shield of trust" that exists among those who fight wars and face danger every day. Nidal Malik Hasan made a mockery of the oath he took to defend and protect the Constitution of the United States of America and he failed the Hippocratic Oath of a physician too. The killing and wounding of fellow soldiers in Ft. Hood by a major and a physician is a despicable act. This man has disgraced the uniform of and hurt the reputation of physicians in uniform. Without doubt, there will be many investigations of the mass murder that occurred at Ft. Hood, Texas. There will also be a lot of discussion and speculation about Hasan. As painful as it might be, the factors that created the monster of Ft. Hood must be examined and corrected as quickly as possible.

It is a well-known fact that violent gang members, including some from the much feared Salvadoran MS-13 group and others, have infiltrated the U.S. Armed Forces and particularly the U.S. Army. And it is also a well-known fact that many potential terrorists have found their way into the army. These individuals must be identified and discharged without delay. Stop the deployment of troops until the bad eggs can be found and discharged from every branch of the military services. - Louis Dominguez Law enforcement officer and a U.S. Army veteran

Catch 22

Concerning the article in your November, 2009 issue, "Police told to wait for the Fire Dept.," I would say the following: whoa, police safety is a concern for all law enforcement officers. However, one shoe does not fit all. We have a great fire department in my community. Its members would probably all recommend that cops wait for their expertise. I don't know of any fireman or cop, if off duty, who would not rush into a fire. Spotting a fire while on patrol may be very different than being sent to a fire. There are just too many variables that affect an officer's decision to take action. - Sheriff Ralph Froehlich Elizabeth, New Jersey
(The writer is a former patrol officer with the Elizabeth, NJ Police Dept.)

Watch for the warning signs

Concerning the recent tragedy at Ft. Hood, I think it is important not to let these deaths be in vain. I am deeply saddened by the loss of more brothers and sisters on the home front. Below are some recommendations from the book, Officer Down: Lessons from the Streets, by Brian McKenna, a retired lieutenant of the Hazelwood Police Department in Missouri. Brian gives us good advice about what things we need to focus on to reduce our vulnerability. o Indicators. Some are easy to spot and some are very difficult.

Imminent threats of violence, behavioral changes, argumentative with others were warning signs of potential violence. o The best defense in all matters is being proactive and early detection via indicators and potential threat assessments. o If some people are concerned about behavior,  pay special attention and discuss it. Anyone who is alert to the warning signs can help prevent a tragedy by coming forward. Go with your instincts if something does not feel right. Overacting is easier to live with than doing nothing at all. o Recordings, internet postings and conversations with others can be clues to upcoming attacks, planned or otherwise. Once again, if it bothers you enough to think about it, share your concerns. It may turn out to be nothing, but action beats reaction every time. o Increase security during large gatherings or deployments with armed MPs or law enforcement. A large police presence on the scene will be a deterrent.

Had someone at Ft. Hood been armed, this could have been dealt with quickly via an active-shooter protocol which means most likely there will be fewer victims and people with serious injuries. o Find out who is monitoring  mental health and providing counseling services for the staff. There's far too much bureaucratic red tape to gain access to stress management, peer assistance groups, conflict-resolution, etc. for those seeking help. Providers may need assistance as well. o We must always remember that the events that cause stress, humiliation, frustration, depression, or rage only add more fuel to the fires that are burning inside people with intense psychological problems.

It's like a wildfire that can quickly spin out of control if it's not dealt with in the early stages. The type of weapons used and updates to this incident say it all - I will not go into this now as investigation is on-going but the motive and goal are clear to me! We have plenty of armor and protocols to deal with an outside threat, but we have neglected to pay attention to threats within our own midst. We need to transcend our own denial and deal with these issues. - David J. Moore (S-55/Ret USAF) Osan Air Base South Korea

Gun Rights

For years, the International Union of Police Associations, AFL-CIO, (I.U.P.A.) has not ventured into the debate concerning the private ownership of guns.  Our efforts have remained confined to the issues related to the wages, working conditions, and the administrativeprotection of "America's" law enforcement professionals. Of late, however, we have been asked more frequently to state our position on the private ownership of guns and our beliefs and experiences as to how gun ownership relates to the Second Amendment and to self defense. In brief, we believe that the private ownership of guns is not only guaranteed by our Constitution but also directly and positively related to a citizen's ability to protect himself and his family in his own home.

Here's why: In the best departments, the response to an emergency call will take between 5 and 7 minutes from the time you dial 911; and in most departments, those times are goals, not realities. Those minutes are an eternity when you are the person with the emergency and the crisis is in the form of an intruder threatening you and your family's lives. Our police departments are not and have never been structured to provide everyone with protection within their homes. Their job is to maintain the public safety. With a population of 300,000,000 and about 800,000 cops, when one figures the three shifts, days off, vacations, and assignments not related to patrol, there is generally about one cop on the street for every 4,000 to 6,000 people.  In many communities, that ratio is much less.  These numbers do not allow for us to guarantee one's safety within the walls of their own home. That responsibility then, by default, falls upon our citizens. Furthermore, we know intuitively that an armed person is in a far better position to defend himself and his family than if he were unarmed. Are guns dangerous? Of course they are.

So are chain saws and ladders. Anything capable of harming you requires training and attention to safety rules concerning its use. Guns are no exception. However, ten years ago, a federal report implored the medical industry to cut in half the annual death toll from medical errors, adverse reactions to prescribed drugs, and hospital-related infections, which was estimated at 200,000 per year. In America, each year about 43,000 people are killed in automobile accidents and 15,000 from falls. In addition, reportedly 8,600 people in America die from poisonings while 4,000 Americans drown each year.  During the same year, about 1,400 are killed in gun related accidents in the U.S. There are more deaths related to over-the-counter drugs like ibuprofen and aspirin. We acknowledge the tragic role that guns play in suicides in America. More than half of those who kill themselves in this country use firearms. We believe that families who know of mental health issues within the home should give serious consideration to this fact when debating the wisdom of gun ownership.

However, there is ample information to show that disarming the public does not protect them.  Law abiding citizens obey gun laws; crooks, by definition, do not. A comprehensive study into fatal and nonfatal attacks on police officers was conducted by the FBI team of Dr. Anthony Pinizzotto, clinical forensic psychologist, and Ed Davis, criminal investigative instructor, both with the Bureau's Behavioral Science Unit, and Charles Miller III, coordinator of the LEOs Killed and Assaulted program. Mr. Davis, in a presentation and discussion for the International Assn. of Chiefs of Police, noted that none of the attackers interviewed were "hindered by any law - federal, state or local - that has ever been established to prevent gun ownership. They just laughed at gun laws."

One need only look at the crime rates in Washington, D.C. to be convinced that gun laws restricting private ownership of firearms are contrary to the safety of the public. Washington D.C. enacted a virtual ban on handguns in 1976. Between 1976 and 1991, Washington D.C.'s homicide rate rose 200 percent, while the U.S. rate rose 12 percent. The Supreme Court, in 2008, found in D.C. v. Heller that the Second Amendment is an individual right intimately tied to the natural right of self-defense. The Scalia majority invoked much historical material to support its finding that the right to keep and bear arms belongs to individuals.

More precisely, Scalia asserted in the Court's opinion that the "people" to whom the Second Amendment right is accorded are the same "people" who enjoyFirst and Fourth Amendment protection. Most police officers view their guns as tools. Not much more and nothing less. They are a necessary part of their equipment, and carrying one daily removes much of the aura and stigma some others attach to these weapons. They teach their family, including their children, about them.

Some have gun safes, many do not. Most keep them loaded. The IUPA has no argument against the laws that pertain to the illegal use, sale, or possession of firearms by felons, addicts, or others deemed unsuitable for gun ownership. We support sentencing enhancements for persons armed at the time of their offenses. We likewise support those laws restricting the ownership of automatic weapons and will not take a position on reasonable laws concerning silencers, armor piercing bullets and background checks.

We remain, however, committed to the idea that the wholesale laws restricting the right of gun ownership or the possession of otherwise legal firearms in one's home to all persons, simply because they reside within a geographical area, violate the Second Amendment of the Constitution and the basic rights of law abiding Americans to make this important decision for themselves. We are absolutely committed to the notion that the judgment as to whether or not a law abiding and sane American citizen has access to the ownership of an otherwise legal firearm should not be made by any city, county or state or federal government and that the Second Amendment guarantees Americans that right. - Dennis Slocumb International Vice President International Union of Police Associations, AFL-CIO

Wow!

I was fascinated to read the story about the so-called company named American Police Force getting the contract for running a jail in Hardin, Montana. Here's a synopsis of the facts, which border on bizarre.
1. A brand new jail sits empty in Hardin, Montana for two years. (The area is suffering from high unemployment.)
2. American Police Force, a private company, proposes running the jail under contract. CEO Michael Hilton pitches himself to the city as a military veteran turned private sector entrepreneur - a California defense contractor with extensive government contracts who promised to turn the rural city's empty jail into a cash cow. Guantanamo Bay inmates, he says, will be moved to Hardin and lots of jobs will be created in Hardin in a "Gitmo West." He promises that the jobs will be created.
3. Local city officials sign contract.
4. Michael Hilton and other personnel from American Police Force show up. Hardin is driving a black Mercedes SUV with "Hardin Police" logos.
5. It turns out there is no Hardin P.D. and the city didn not contract with APF. Hardin is patrolled by local sheriff. Public and city baffled why cars say "Hardin Police."
6. A background check if done on Michael Hilton. Turns out he is a convicted felon from California, a foreign national, has filed multiple bankruptcies, owes a lot of money in fraud judgments, claims to have federal contracts that he doesn't, and uses a company logo that is the Serbian national crest.
7. UNREAL. - Joe Strong Police officer in California

 
Recent letters E-mail
Written by Subscribers   

Lame coverage

Over the years I have enjoyed the articles in Police Beat. Usually the news is relevant, the articles educational and informative and the editorials to the point. In your last issue however, there seems to be far more politically correct fluff and fodder that diminishes the relevant on-point reporting. For example, the article by a middle manager promoting community policing with recycled rhetoric was as useful as day-old donuts. Then there was the filler article about the low numbers of women in law enforcement. This was another example of irrelevant recycled drivel. In twenty years on the job, I’ve never heard an officer say “Gee . . . I think we need more female cops in our department . . . wonder what the problem is?” I don’t think the Troopers in West Virginia care either. And lastly the articles about police administrators telling us that the economy is in the toilet and crime is on the rise made me want to ask you, “That’s a news flash? Really?” What happened to the former reporting you did that gave tactical situations we can learn from or the relevant developments? Let’s cut the nonsense; personally I would rather read advertisements. – B.K. Byers, Salem, OR

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Fusion leads to confusion E-mail
Written by apb staff   

There isn't a solitary soul that could make a reasonable argument that police officers should be on the lookout for suspicious individuals and activities that might indicate the possibility of a terrorist attack. That being said, the so-called "intelligence" that local law enforcement agencies are receiving from data warehouses known as "fusion centers" recently is raising all kinds of serious questions that demand answers. When you manage to put conservative Republicans and the ACLU on the same side you must have done something truly outrageous.

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Top 10 signs the new guy's got roid rage E-mail
Written by apb staff   

1.After pummeling three linemen from Michigan during a traffic stop, he then went on to crush their SUV with his fists.

2. His skin’s worse than Manuel Noriega.

3. First bench-press set – 50 reps, 432 lbs.

4. He’s got two speeds, hysterical crying and blind violent rage.

5. His right arm is bigger in circumference than your waist.

6. He strangled a kitten because it looked at him wrong.

7. He won a fistfight with a utility pole.

8. He’s a big fan of the war on drugs but says he supports needle exchange programs.

9. He says Roger Clemens is an innocent victim.

10. His medicine cabinet’s a walk-in.

 
Top Ten LE casualties of the recession E-mail
Written by APB Staff   

1. Take home cars

2. Regional drug task forces

3. Ratified contracts

4. Hiring

5. Interoperability/designated law enforcement channel on digital broadcast spectrum

6. In service training

7. Public alerts: Amber, silver or terrorist threat by color charts.

8. Caliber of new recruits

9. Fuel and maintenance funds for air support and mobile command centers

10. Less money, more work

 
February letters E-mail
Written by Readers   

Cops trained to "run away?"

There was an article on the Secret Service that ran on January 4, 2009 in Parade magazine. In it an ex-Secret Service agent and current colonel at the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office in Florida, James Previtera, makes a very bad statement. He states, "Cops are trained to retreat when gunfire starts, but the Secret Service has to stand tall and go into the gunfire."

I think APB readers would want to know what Previtera thinks of us lowly cops who "train to retreat" and hopefully Colonel Previtera will get an earful from the thousands of law enforcement officers around the country who have run towards gunfire to save a life or stop a threat. For those interested in reading the entire article, it can be viewed at www.parade.com. The offending remark occurs right at the beginning of the article: "Secret Service agents have a job that they must literally be willing to die for. 'Cops are trained to retreat when gunfire starts, but the Secret Service has to stand tall and go into the gunfire,' says James Previtera, a Secret Service agent from 1998 to 2005 who now runs Florida's Hillsborough County Jail.

To serve and protect all

Besides protecting, a big part of what we do is serve.

Our line of work offers us a chance to come in contact with people who really need help and how we treat them is a reflection not only on our agency but ourselves as well. Recently I met an older man named Donald. Donald had severe mental health challenges that required comprehensive professional attention.

For police officers, it is not uncommon to have calls involving persons suffering some type of psychiatric disorder or mental health problem and on this particular day, Donald was being stubborn and confrontational at the institution he was staying at. Refusing to take a shot to calm him, Donald was in a standoff with staff, who called for our assistance. Despite efforts to negotiate with him, Donald was having nothing to do with it. Prior to speaking with him, I said a prayer for a certain saint's intervention to help us accomplish our objective to assist him.

When I had the chance to speak with Donald, I gently told him that I wanted him to be treated with the respect he deserved. Despite his severe handicap, Donald recognized I was offering him a chance to not only avoid a pending physical escalation, which I felt was beneath him, but also to maintain his personal dignity. In short order, he complied with staff's request and the other officers and I were on our way. In our special line of work, we have a unique advantage in having regular opportunities to make a difference in the lives of all God's children, particularly those most in need. By presenting small gifts of respect and kindness toward them, we also have a chance to make prayerful offerings to the Almighty in our tours of duty. And whether we appreciate it or not, there is more than meets the eye when we run into those that society has deemed our lowest.

Sadly, Donald died a while later; but while here, he offered so many people the chance to praise God through kindness to him. Our world is filled with Donalds, and as police officers, we are remiss if we don't recognize the opportunities that they offer us. - Lt. Tom Wetzel


In the line of duty

On January 31, 1791, Constable Darius Quimby of the Albany County, NY Constable's Office was killed by hostile gunfire. He was shot and killed while attempting to arrest a man on a trespassing warrant. The suspect was found guilty of murdering Constable Quimby in the July session of the New York State Supreme Court and was hanged for his crime on August 26, 1791. Constable Quimby is the first known law enforcement officer to be killed in the line of duty in the United States. Since that day 19,494 US law enforcement officers have lost their lives in the line of duty. In 2008, the first loss to law enforcement came on New Year's Day when Maryland Transportation Authority Police Corporal Courtney Brooks was struck by a hit-and-run driver on I-95 in Baltimore City at approximately 11:30 PM Dec. 31, 2007. In the year 2008, a total of 132 US law enforcement officers lost their lives in the line of duty in the United States, its territories, protectorates, on its railways and tribal lands. 14 of the officers were female, and 118 were male. New York State lost five officers in 2008. Detective Christopher A. Ridley was off duty when he observed a fight between two homeless men in White Plains, New York. He attempted to break up the fight, but was violently attacked by the aggressor.

During the struggle, Detective Ridley's handgun fell to the ground and discharged, attracting the attention of two Westchester County police officers who were in an adjacent county building. The officers approached the scene as Detective Ridley picked up his weapon from the ground. Not realizing that Ridley was a police officer, the two officers ordered him to drop his weapon. When he did not comply, they fired, fatally wounding him. Sgt. Edward Thompson of the NYPD died from lung cancer that he contracted as a result of recovery work performed at Ground Zero, the site of the World Trade Center attack on September 11, 2001. During his work at Ground Zero, Sergeant Thompson inhaled various toxins which were present in the air, which led to the onset of the cancer. Officer Kenneth Duncan, a New York City Corrections officer, was shot and killed while taking police action in an off duty incident. Officer Duncan was in his driveway with a friend, working on his motorcycle when two males approached. One produced a firearm in an attempt to steal the motorcycle. In an exchange of gunfire Duncan was shot once in the face. He engaged his assailant but did not hit the suspect.

Officer Aldo Rossi, Port Dickinson Police Department, was struck by a drunk driver while waiting for a DOT truck to remove a tree that had fallen across the roadway. He was speaking to the driver of a car that had stopped near the fallen tree when another car struck that car, and then him. He was 42 years old. Trooper Shawn W. Snow, New York State Police, was electrocuted while assisting a driver changing a flat tire on an antique fire truck near the Ogdensburg-Prescott International Bridge.

The fire truck's ladder came in contact with overhead power lines. Trooper Snow and the truck driver were both killed instantly. Of the three New York State losses attributable to criminal action, two of the cases have been cleared. The murder of Kenneth Duncan remains an open case. God be with each of them, their families and friends, and their departments, now and always. We remember. Lord, hear us. "When we lay down our nightsticks, enroll us in Your Heavenly force, where we will be as proud to guard the Throne of God as we were to guard the cities of men." St. Michael protect us. We will see you in Elysium.- Respectfully submitted by Officer Mike Ryan, Brockport, NYPD. Background information for this letter came from Officerdown.com.

Domo arigato

I would like to thank American Police Beat and the other sponsoring organizations for hosting an incredible reception for the California Police Chiefs Association at IACP in San Diego this month. It was a wonderful event with over 400 chiefs attending and we were proud to be able to assist in raising money for the National Law Enforcement Museum. We appreciate your support and thanks again. - Chief Jerry P Dyer Fresno, California P.D. President, California Police Chiefs Association

 
Top Cop's got some advice for Obama E-mail
Written by John F. Timoney   

President Barack Obama is going to have a lot on his plate when he takes the oath of office on January 20 – the economy, Iraq, Afghanistan, terrorism, and health care reform, just for starters. I’d like to talk about two more issues that I hope will receive serious consideration in an Obama administration: disenfranchisement of felons, and sentencing disparities for crack and powder cocaine.

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January 2009 letters to Editor APB E-mail
Written by Readers   

Officers exonerated

I wanted to send you an update and a thank you from the Seattle Police Officers Guild. We were notified that the misdemeanor gun charges against the Seattle Police Officers and two Border Patrol Agents involved in the Sturgis incident were dropped. We want to thank each and every person and organization that took the time to write letters to the South Dakota Attorney General and the Meade County States Attorney, on behalf of our officers. We truly believe that these letters served an invaluable purpose in the pursuit of having these charges dismissed. Your support will be always remembered by the Seattle Police Officers Guild.

– Rich O’Neill, President Seattle Police Officers Guild

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The Top 10 things that don't mean anything E-mail
Written by Mark Nichols   

1. “Tactical underwear solutions”

2. The deal you make with yourself around this time of year to finally drop ten pounds.

3. Pats on the back from politicians holding the purse strings.

4. Terms like “dividend suspension program” that actually mean, “you’re not getting the money.”

5. Promises made by an alcoholic.

6. Results of sex and drug surveys of high school students. “Yeah, that’s right. I have sex five times a day and I’m an international drug lord! Am I cool or what?”

7. Potential.

8. The threat of incarceration for unauthorized mattress tag removal.

9. Political slogans like, “Yes we can!” “A thousand points of light,” and “Just say no.”

10. Most of the stuff anyone is saying at any given point in time anywhere in the world.

 
Bad news policy E-mail
Written by Lt. Paul C Page   

Here at the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Dept., we are currently experiencing what we consider to be a problem in that the agency is placing negative comments in the personnel files of employees who retire while an internal investigation is being conducted. The agency completes the investigation, and then places a copy of the “findings” along with an Adjudication of Complaint outlining what disciplinary action would have been imposed.

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December 2008 letters to APB E-mail
Written by APB readers   

Right to carry

As president of the Seattle Police Officer's Guild, I would like to bring to your attention a situation which has impacted one of our officers and has the potential to affect the safety of all law enforcement officers throughout the nation. On August 9, 2008 Seattle Police Detective Ron Smith was vacationing in Sturgis, South Dakota with members of a fraternal law enforcement motorcycle club. Detective Smith was attacked by a member of the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Gang in what South Dakota authorities described as a "violent and premeditated" incident.

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Top Ten ways not to start the report E-mail
Written by Mark Nichols   

1. Hear ye, hear ye:

2. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

3. What it do players? Here’s the deal:

4. From the desk of the world’s greatest cop

5. Four score and seven years ago…

6. Will whoever took my red stapler please return it ASAP.

7. Dear Mom:

8. I was pretty wasted, so don’t put too much stock in the details of the following incident report.

9. He ran, I chased…yadda, yadda, yadda…

10. There once was a perp from Nantucket.

 
Top Ten Signs you’re way out of shape E-mail
Written by Mark Nichols   

1. You get winded if you change the channels fast.

2. You haven’t been able to see your own feet while standing since 1987.

3. Your time in the 40-yard dash is 27 seconds.

4.Taco Bell sends you “Thank you” notes.

5.There is no combination of bread and cheese that you wouldn’t kill a man for.

6. You and your patrol partner are the same height, but when you’re both in the cruiser, she appears to be a foot taller because of the vehicle’s tilt due to the weight differential.

7. The last time you worked out, people were talking about this new thing called “aerobics.”

8. If you add your blood pressure reading to your cholesterol count you get a number between seven and eight hundred... thousand.

9. You get dizzy getting out of the car.

10. You think vegetables qualify as cruel and unusual punishment, which you are sworn to help prevent.

 
Sermon from the bottom of Mount “Woe is me” E-mail
Written by Gary DeLaganes   

At some point in everyone’s life an inevitable truth becomes a reality. In my case, it was the recent realization that I have celebrated most of my birthdays, and probably don’t have all that many left to come. The many years I’ve spent doing athletic activities and police work have taken a toll on my body – my lower back is racked with arthritis and it takes me at least two hours every morning to reach the point where I can stand up straight; my rotator cuff is shot; two knee operations, and the subsequent arthritis, has made running an impossibility; and a torn Achilles tendon has further limited my mobility.

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Frustrated E-mail
Written by Frustrated in S.D.   

Frustrated I’m a deputy in a small Sheriff’s Office in South Dakota. I have read other letters from officers with a similar problem, so I know I am not the only one with this problem. I have a great boss, but the problem is with the second in command; he has no officer safety skills, he is lazy, he is not totally honest. The last straw for me was when I heard he ignored a backup call while a state trooper and game warden responded. He stayed in the local convenience store. We are not a 24-hour operation, so after a certain time we are on-call. This deputy has failed to get his butt out of bed and respond to calls. I have been tempted to ask the sheriff what type of calls are we supposed to get out of bed for. Recently this deputy shaving-creamed another officer’s car; he said it was a practical joke. The sheriff calls him his “minister of presence” while the rest of us (including other agencies who work closely with our office) call him worthless. I know if I get hurt or even worse because of this deputy, either myself or my family will own this county!

– Frustrated in South Dakota

 
Protestors just don't get it E-mail
Written by Aaron Hanson   

As a police officer, I was slightly heartened to learn that the recent march in our city, Omaha, Nebraska, organized by the Omahans for Justice Alliance, focused on their disagreements not only with the Omaha Police Department, but also on their concern for the rising tide of gang violence in our community. It would appear that certain activists have come to the realization that one tends to lose credibility with the rest of the community when the police are depicted as an even greater threat to the community than the droves of armed thugs who prey on our city and citizens daily.

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Top ten ways not to greet the responding officers E-mail
Written by Mark Nichols   

1. “Yeah the music’s loud- what are you gonna do about it?”

2. Wearing a thong, holding a sword in one hand and a joint in the other.

3. “Hey tough guy, I called like an hour ago.”

4. Running away.

5. (Two man team, one black cop, one white cop) “Alright now who’s Crockett and who’s Tubbs.”

6. A makeshift billboard made out of bed sheets hung on front of residence of said complaint that reads “I PAY YOUR SALARY!”

7. Gunfire.

8. A trained army of poop-throwing monkeys.

9. “Listen guys it’s not as bad as it looks. The blood on my shirt is from a paper cut and the body in the hallway is actually just a mannequin. I don’t know what my neighbor told you but that guy’s got in for me just because I’m a registered sex offender.

10. Hugs and kisses.

 
Top 10 ideas the city council has for balancing the budget E-mail
Written by Mark Nichols   

1. They’re going to borrow half the pension fund to pay for next year’s snow removal.

2. Local P.D. to be merged with EMS, Fire, Parks, and DPW. Hopefully someone with overdue books committing a crime on trash day will have a heart attack and you can score the elusive “trifecta!”

3. “Let’s just forget about that last contract, OK? I don’t know what we were thinking giving you guys a cost of living increase.”

4. Cities ignoring the advice of Muncie, Indiana and begging for an opportunity to participate in “Armed and Famous II” featuring Dog the Bounty Hunter, Joe Arpaio and the guy that played Big Pussy on the Sopranos.

5. Instead of the communications upgrade for your agency, the city has decided to buy every cop five minutes a month on his or her cell phone.

6. New policy – gas can only be used while responding to calls. If you’re on patrol, find a hill, coast and hope the bad guys can’t afford fuel either.

7. Taser purchase put on hold. Report to the duty sergeant to pick up palm-held joy buzzers.

8. The new health plan is from a provider called Wal-Mart.

9. Thursday is ‘Bring Your Own Toilet Paper Day.’

10. They’re not sure about anything specific. But they do know the money is coming out of your pocket.

 
History of police espionage 101 E-mail
Written by Dennis M. Sweeney   

Maryland State Police didn’t do their homework before they started spying on peace activists and anti-death-penalty groups. If the amateur spymasters had read up on their Maryland law enforcement history before launching this escapade, they might have had a good laugh and learned a thing or two.

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