22 AMERICAN POLICE BEAT: JUNE 2017 in particular, feel they have to be superheroes who walk through fire (real or meta- phorical) without flinching. Get real. Your courage is admirable, but everyone has a limit. The military, law enforce- ment and firefighting profes- sions share many concerns. Any of these professions, except perhaps a peacetime enlistment, brings exposure to trauma. The average police officer sees a dozen gruesome, potentially trau- matic scenes in the first year. Exposuretotraumaamong firefighters rose when medi- cal response calls began to outnumber fire-related call- outs. People in these jobs have a remarkable camaraderie with coworkers. The dark flip side is an “us-versus- them” mentality. That mind- set thinks no one outside a small circle of trust can understand or help. Trauma exacerbates that sense of separation from others. Survivors can feel stained or permanently damaged. First responders feel even more separate from “normal” people. Recognizing the Risk Men and women in these jobs have trouble acknowl- edging vulnerability. Endur- ance and fearlessness are prized. Even the women pick up the macho attitude, “I’ll be fine.” Although the danger is great, concern about stigma and its impact on a career is an obstacle to getting care. Kudos to Houston PD su- pervisors who show leader- ship by unashamedly taking a seat in our waiting room. Our office constantly reminds employees that HIPAA laws work. Your privacy is protected. We divulge information only as required by Texas law to prevent homicide, suicide, or abuse. Admitting a mental health problem feels like joining the other side. You fear de- veloping the qualities you associate with the mentally ill — violence, instability, and victimhood. Taking medication seems to suggest a more serious problem, so it’s often out of the question. But you’re not always fine. The ugly truth is that there are three police suicides for every two line-of-duty deaths. Among firefighters, there are three suicides for each line-of-duty death. As war theater casualties go down, the proportion of military suicides goes up. In 2015, the armed forces saw 21 deaths in Afghanistan, seven in Iraq, a minimum of 18 aviation deaths, a mini- mum of five training deaths. The total won’t be anywhere close to 265 – the number of U.S. military men and women who died by their own hands. Oddly, folks who dedicate themselves to protecting oth- ers sometimes think suicide keeps them from burdening loved ones. The guilt and horror felt in the wake of these deaths never eased anyone’s bur- den. Other risk factors for sui- cide for first responders can be PTSD, sleep disturbance, being male, a break-up, im- mediate access to weapons, and heavy alcohol use. Also, seeing death over and over may make it less frighten- ing. Writer David Foster Wallace said in an often quoted 2005 g r a d u a t i o n speech, “Impor- tant realities are the ones that are hardest to see.” We get confused about what mat- ters in life. Wal- lace took his own life three years later. In the speech, Wallace described a wise old fish greeting two young fish. The older fish says, “Morn- ing boys, how’s the water?” They all swim on and later one of the young fish asks the other, “What the hell is water?” Sometimes there’s some- thing around you that ev- eryone else can see plainly that you don’t want to or can’t recognize. Having emotional problems is like that. Wallace told the gradu- ates that adult life “involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration.” People put up walls in response. The seniors were urged to maintain “attention and awareness and disci- pline, and being able to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.” So here are basic truths that are easily overlooked. Real men get hurt. Cops aren’t perfect. Your wives and girlfriends, your hus- bands and boyfriends and parents, even your buddies – they all know you’re not perfect. Admitting it won’t shock anyone. Holding Back/Reaching Out I buried my father in 2016. He was a research analyst, not a cop, but like most men of his generation, he hid his emotional pain. Now that he’s gone, I pore over his journals andwishdesper- ately that he had shared more of his heart. D i s t a n c i n g yourself from the people who care about you is a common re- sponse to trau- ma or burnout, but it only creates more problems. A bias against treatment can cause unnecessary suf- fering or be fatal. If past trauma on or off the job keeps you from finding joy in life, don’t remain silent. Dr. Garmezy is a clinical psy- chologist employed full-time by the Houston Police Department Psychological Services Division. Her responsibilities include pre- employment screening, critical incident stress management and training. The bulk of her time is spent providing counseling to officers and their family mem- bers. Most cops are superheroes, but there is a limit Continued from page one Houston Police Chief Art Acevedo is establishing himself as well respected leader at the Houston Police Department. He’s firmly behind the new program everyone hopes will help officers who are struggling with PTSD and other job- related issues. Most cops can relate to the Greek myth of Sisyphus. Wak- ing up every day and pushing that rock can be a source of tremendous stress. Trauma exacerbates that sense of separation from others. Survivors can feel stained or permanently damaged. First responders feel even more separate from “normal” people.