“Hi Grandma! It’s your grandson Jamie! I’m just calling to wish you a happy birthday. How’s everything? What have you been up to at the retirement home?”
“Hi Jamie! Aren’t you sweet for calling. Can you keep a secret? I’ve been trying to make weapons-grade Ricin and I’ve been testing it on my neighbors.”
Yup- according to USA Today: “A resident of a Vermont retirement community made ricin and tested the deadly toxin on her neighbors by putting it on their food or in beverages over a period of weeks, investigators said.”
Thankfully no one died and the old bat has been kicked out of the old folks home.
So let’s all just add “sweet old looking ladies making chemical weapons in retirement communities” to the list of crap we need to be freaking out about.