By R.E. Sharpe
Luck of the draw, answer the call,
what comes next will make your skin crawl.
You realize quickly and then abandon hope,
it’s been a while since he’s seen soap.
This dude’s alive but smells like dead,
reality hits hard like a hammer to your head.
Thank God for your hands you have latex,
but no such protection from gag reflex.
Totally clueless like he just can’t tell,
but your olfactory nerve is catching hell.
Now comes the ultimate test,
can you hold your breath to effect arrest?
You’re the winner but still the loser,
now he must go in the back of your cruiser!
Windows down you drive real fast,
upwind reprieve from the smell of raw ass.
The drive to jail extremely tough,
sally port doors can’t open fast enough!
Hours later sure seems queer,
backseat’s empty but dude’s still here.
R.E. (Reggie) Sharpe is a warrant officer with the North Charleston Police Department. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.