The Top 10 Signs You Are Not the Smartest Criminal

  1. A guy tried to steal a tall, freestanding gumball machine, smashing it through a glass door, only to find out that it was harder than he thought it would be.
  2. While her son was taking part in a Shop With a Cop event, a Kentucky woman was arrested on shoplifting charges.
  3. A woman allegedly used a stolen credit card at a convenience store, then tried to escape through the ventilation system. She fell through the ceiling.
  4. Once wasn’t enough. Two teens in Georgia were arrested after they allegedly burgled the same house twice — on the same day.
  5. A driver’s license ended up back with the Iowa man who had reported it stolen months earlier. Someone used it to get into the bar where the man worked as a bouncer.
  6. If only he hadn’t been so greedy. An alleged bank robber in Ohio received a stack of money from a teller. Then he wanted the money from a machine in the lobby. He was told it needed a driver’s license to operate. He handed over his own.
  7. A California man was so proud of a murder he had committed that he had the scene tattooed in detail on his chest. When the police picked him up for a petty crime four years later, they noticed the tat. Not good.
  8. Officials charged a fisherman with a felony after he apparently inserted a 1-pound weight into a bass he’d caught to win a Texas fishing tournament. The giveaway? The fish sank to the bottom when it was placed in a tank.
  9. A man was accused of burglary in Wyoming after his DNA was matched to a partially eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich left at the crime scene. His DNA was also found on a coffee cup at another crime scene.
  10. A Florida man wanted in connection with an assault helped police find him when he used his wanted poster as his Facebook profile photo. Dude!

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