The Top 10 Signs You’re Getting Ripped Off

10. You’re a tax-paying American citizen.

9. The guy at the auto dealership is charging you a finder’s fee for a car that’s on the lot. (Love that Seinfeld episode!)

8. No one seems all that impressed with your degree from Trump University.

7. A “mixologist” (as opposed to a bartender) spent 12 minutes making a drink that contains elderberry pollen, muddled bumble bee dander, pomegranate nectar, and a tiny bit of vodka—and it cost $18.

6. Your kids’ cell phone bill.

5. Your wife bought two sets of Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness stickers that restore “balance” and “hydrate the soul.”

4. You spend about $250 a month for premium cable and have more than 700 channels, but you’re reading a book because “there’s never anything good on.”

3. A kid on the crew you hired to paint the house is trying to figure out why the roller doesn’t fit in the paint bucket.

2. You actually paid money for a movie on DVD starring a 400-lb. Steven Seagal, Rob Schneider, and 50 Cent.

1. You bought wine on Amazon. (Yeah, that’s right, Amazon is making its own wine now.)

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