The Top 10 Signs You’re Too Old for This Crap


1. You were about to call in shots fired from home, but it turns out it was just the sound of your knees and back cracking as you got out of bed.

2. The kid you’ve been assigned to train wants to know if the chicken from the sandwich you bought him is organic and free-range.

3. Back in the day, it was a couple of hard-charging homicide detectives that went out, found the suspect, and brought him in for questioning. These days, it’s all Facebook, GPS, and fusion centers.

4. You’ve been on the job longer than most 10-year veterans have been alive.

5. The tech guy talks your ear off about the apps on  Bluetooth-equipped BlackBerrys. You nod politely but have no clue what the hell he’s talking about.

6. The new boss is younger than your youngest kid.

7. Your idea of roughing the suspect up is to get him in the interview room and talk about your bunions and sciatica non-stop for 45 minutes. They break every time.

8. You’re wondering when “friend” went from being a noun to a verb.

9. You overheard a first-year guy talking smack about you. “That dude’s so old he’s probably still listens to CDs!”

10. Every day is exactly like the one that came before it.


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