The Top 10 Thoughts Your Dog Has Daily

10. If the damn mailman forgot the treats again, I’m goin’ full Cujo on that bastard.

9. Yes. The answer is yes. I would like to go for a walk. Obviously. Because I’m a dog.

8. This dog food looks nothing like it does in the commercial.

7. Great…Halloween. Time for the morons to dress the dog up as a pirate.

6. What’s the deal with that Taco Bell chihuahua?

5. If you don’t want me chewing it, you need to buy a less delicious couch.

4. I bet that mutt from the Alpo commercial is sitting on a huge pile of stinky green cash.

3. Squirrel!

2. One of these days they’re going to buy me my own pizza.

1. I’ve been up for, like, two hours. Definitely time for a nap.

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