10. If the damn mailman forgot the treats again, I’m goin’ full Cujo on that bastard.
9. Yes. The answer is yes. I would like to go for a walk. Obviously. Because I’m a dog.
8. This dog food looks nothing like it does in the commercial.
7. Great…Halloween. Time for the morons to dress the dog up as a pirate.
6. What’s the deal with that Taco Bell chihuahua?
5. If you don’t want me chewing it, you need to buy a less delicious couch.
4. I bet that mutt from the Alpo commercial is sitting on a huge pile of stinky green cash.
2. One of these days they’re going to buy me my own pizza.
1. I’ve been up for, like, two hours. Definitely time for a nap.