As the saying goes, “You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town.” This is no laughing matter. Having a monkey on your back initially meant “carrying around anger” in the 1860s, but by the 1930s it came to be narcotic slang for “being addicted.” And addiction doesn’t just leave because you stopped using the alcohol, the pills or the other drugs. That d#@! monkey is powerful, persistent and relentless! He can also be downright ugly. How do law enforcement officers get tricked into carrying the monkey on their backs, and what tactics can they deploy to release themselves from bondage?

How the monkey tricks us

Alcohol addiction tricks you into thinking you are tragically unique. Officers may begin to believe that they are somehow different (more on a pedestal) than others who are dependent on alcohol or pills. This separates them from the recovery community and decreases their willingness to participate in treatment. 

Alcohol addiction tricks the (alcoholic) officer into believing they can use in moderation. They begin to believe that they can have one drink, that they can stop whenever they want, that they are not driving impaired. 

Alcohol addiction tricks the (sober) officer into thinking that relapse begins at the first drink. Relapse actually begins before the first drink — reminiscing about previous drinking, minimizing the consequences of drinking again, fantasizing about future drinking, devising schemes to drink again and actually looking for opportunities to drink again. 

Alcohol addiction tricks the (sober) officer into thinking that if they slipped (say, with one drink), they’ve blown it, so they might as well go all in. In reality, slips and relapse are part of the disease, and it is far easier and less shame-inducing to recover from a slip than from a bender lasting days, weeks, months or longer.

How monkeys fight

Monkeys, in real life, are fierce fighters. They bite and rip off testicles and ears. They gouge eyes. They incapacitate and cause as much pain as possible. They fight to win.

Alcohol addiction is like a monkey on your back. This is a metaphor for alcohol addiction being a vexing, difficult, unrelenting problem that just will not go away on its own.

What should you do if a monkey is actually chasing you? Remain calm. Immediately drop any food or drink. Slowly walk away. Even if the monkey literally jumps on your back, keep calm and the monkey will soon jump off. Monkeys tend not to attack unless provoked.

So, what should you do if alcohol addiction is the monkey chasing you? The answer is the same: Remain calm. Immediately drop your drink. Slowly walk away. Do not provoke the monkey.

Tactics to get the monkey off your back

Self-assessment: Ascertain whether you have a monkey on your back right now. Have you ever felt the need to cut down on your drinking? Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking? Have you ever felt guilty about drinking? Have you ever felt you needed a drink first thing in the morning (eye-opener) to steady your nerves or get rid of hangover? Did you answer “yes” to two or more of the questions? Know that you are not alone. 

Sober experiment: Try a 30-day alcohol-free challenge to interrupt your habits. This is an experiment that you run for yourself (and no one else). You want to see what happens, and so the whole point is to observe what happens. A good mental starting point is to just be curious. Notice what you think: Do you have positive thoughts during the month, or do you think “I can’t live without it”? Notice how you feel: anxious or agitated, deprived or upset, bored or restless, or curious and inquisitive? Notice what, if anything, triggers the desire to drink. Also notice if you are (or are not) able to successfully complete the 30-day experiment, and what that might mean for your relationship with alcohol.

Medical detox: Medical detoxification allows your body to rid itself of toxic substances under the supervision of an M.D. This typically lasts about five days and is an essential first step in alcohol addiction recovery because, if you have physical or psychological signs of alcohol dependence, alcohol withdrawal is life-threatening. You will receive medication to decrease cravings and alleviate withdrawal symptoms. You will become clearer-headed. 

Inpatient rehabilitation: This allows you to fully focus on your recovery in a supportive environment away from the pressures of work and home for 30 days. This is more of a hard reset. Some programs are more hospital-like in nature, and others are more like a spa or luxury hotel. Officers tend to prefer rehab treatment programs exclusively for first responders, and these tend to be more like a family environment in a nice house or spa-like facility. First responder programs tend to offer holistic approaches, with trauma therapy as the main component. The staff tend to be more knowledgeable about law enforcement culture, reinforce confidentiality, provide coaching for greater wellness and self-care, and allow you to make deep, meaningful connections with other first responders for life. 

Outpatient treatment: This is typically held at your local hospital and is for those with milder alcohol problems. These programs are part-time (say, three to five times a week for three hours each time) and longer in duration (usually three to six months but can be 12 months or longer), and they allow you some flexibility to attend treatment without missing work or other life responsibilities. 

Alcoholics Anonymous: This is a fellowship of men and women around the world who gather together in smaller local groups simply to listen, share their stories and support one another to solve a common problem. It is self-help. If your drinking is out of control or has created a problem for you at work or in life, AA can help. Research demonstrates that AA and working the 12 steps is more effective than professional psychotherapy and medication combined. This is stunning and significant!

Peace Officer’s Fellowship: POF meetings are AA meetings exclusively for police and other first responders. These gatherings are a confidential and safe place for all first responders and public safety personnel to listen, share their story (if they so choose), and obtain peer support and guidance from people who really understand. In turn, police experience strength, hope and healing from the unique traumas that they face every day on the job. There is also a peer support group via Zoom for significant others across the nation.

What it takes

It only takes a desire to stop drinking — that’s it! You can do this. There is hope and help available.

Reach out to someone you know who is sober and working the 12 steps. AA is the most effective strategy for law enforcement personnel and is proven to work! It works if you work it. If you don’t know anyone who is working sobriety, or you don’t know how to access your local POF meetings, feel free to contact me at the email address below and I will connect you with the right people.  

So, take one day at a time. Focus on your health and well-being. You matter. And we need you.