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Humor

Too hot to handle

Summer weekend crime called on account of weather

Published September 7, 2019 @ 2:10 am PDT

iStock.com/FarukUlay

 

You know it’s hot outside when police departments make public pleas for criminals to stay inside.

During the third weekend in July, more than 157 million Americans were trapped inside a weather pattern that meteorologists warned would generate dangerous temperatures. Concerned about what effect the record-breaking heat would have on public safety, the Malden and Braintree police departments, both in Massachusetts, posted requests on Facebook for would-be criminals to take a hiatus.

The Malden P.D. asked that all criminal activity be put on hold “until further notice,” recommending that potential lawbreakers stay indoors. “However, if you should choose to ignore the friendly advice, Malden Police officers are ready and staying hydrated to ensure that the great City of Malden is protected,” the department added. “We may let you run in the heat for a bit, while we get closer to you in an AC-equipped cruiser and plenty of water, but we’ll get you!”

Meanwhile, Braintree P.D. Officer Peter Gillis, who manages the department’s Facebook page, wrote, “Due to the extreme heat, we are asking anyone thinking of doing criminal activity to hold off until Monday. It is straight up hot as soccer balls out there. Conducting criminal activity in this extreme heat is next-level henchmen status, and also very dangerous.” He suggested that people stay in the air-conditioning and binge-watch the third season of Stranger Things instead.

His post went viral, and while the message was intended to be tongue-in-cheek, it apparently worked. Braintree typically sees seven or eight arrests on summer weekends, but on the following Monday, Gillis posted an update stating, “ZERO arrests this weekend. Big thank you to all our fans who commented, liked and shared our original post, which gained the attention of nearly 12 million Facebookers.”

As seen in the September 2019 issue of American Police Beat magazine.
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