• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • The Magazine
  • Events
  • Partners
  • Products
  • Advertise
  • Contact
  • Jobs and Careers
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Subscribe to the Magazine
American Police Beat

American Police Beat Magazine

Law Enforcement Publication

  • Home
  • Editor’s Picks
    • The power of teamwork
      Stay awake and alert on the job
      The worst rank in law enforcement
      Firearms maintenance
      Why fries need salt
  • Topics
    • On the Job
      • Time to address the status of women in policing today
        Police K-9 comforts Michigan State University students returning to...
        Volkswagen acknowledges policy breach after failing to provide...
        Michigan lieutenant completes DoorDash delivery for pregnant driver...
        South Carolina woman diagnosed with brain tumor thanks to traffic stop
    • Labor
      • LAPD union proposes police stop responding to non-emergency calls
        Florida’s recruitment program lures Chicago police officers to the...
        Staffing shortages plague Cleveland police as record number leave the...
        New Orleans interim police chief aims to hire civilians in time for...
        “Anyone can get this job”: Memphis police lowered hiring...
    • Tech
      • Austin Police Department launches non-emergency artificial...
        iPhone crash detection feature helps deputies rescue driver from canal
        Nebraska State Patrol uses drone technology to improve traffic flow...
        Dayton greenlights police access to private security camera footage
        Scott City police dispatchers use new technology to livestream...
    • Training
      • U.S. trails in police training
        Denver police recruit has leg amputated after training drill
        Defunding vs. refunding public services
        Apathy is not the problem — leadership is
        Train more effectively with steel targets
    • Policy
      • Opposing POVs on permit-less carry
        Ohio bill would lower minimum age to become a police officer to 18 to...
        Utah bill would allow people with “invisible conditions” to alert...
        Speaking up for K-9 colleagues
        “His death won’t be in vain”: Arkansas passes bill to require...
    • Health/Wellness
      • Nonprofit offers telehealth therapy to upstate New York first...
        A California police department’s new wellness unit aims to improve...
        Massachusetts police department prioritizes officers’ mental health...
        My poor coping strategies
        Heart health
    • Community
      • Central Texas nonprofit to open law enforcement museum in honor of...
        “It was an honor to serve with her”: Kansas first responders...
        Chicago police cook with children to build community relationships
        Wisconsin teen fighting brain cancer becomes police officer for a day
        Texas law enforcement agencies team up to fight cancer
    • Offbeat
      • Texas deputy detains runaway tortoise after “slowest foot...
        Suspect hiding in bathtub in Florida calls 9-1-1 to send deputies to...
        Person in ‘Scream’ costume frightens California community,...
        “Brave and honest” toddler rats out fugitive hiding in Kentucky...
        Thieves in NYC stealing Apple headphones off victims’ heads, police...
    • We Remember
      • Boone County holds fifth annual Jacob Pickett Remembrance Day to...
        Farewell to a “living legend”: Oldest law enforcement officer in...
        “Officer Becerra will never be forgotten”: Colorado police...
        “I had a calling”: Colorado cadet inspired by fallen hero Eric...
        Chicago police remember fallen and injured officers this holiday...
  • On the Job
    • Time to address the status of women in policing today
      Police K-9 comforts Michigan State University students returning to...
      Volkswagen acknowledges policy breach after failing to provide...
      Michigan lieutenant completes DoorDash delivery for pregnant driver...
      South Carolina woman diagnosed with brain tumor thanks to traffic stop
  • Labor
    • LAPD union proposes police stop responding to non-emergency calls
      Florida’s recruitment program lures Chicago police officers to the...
      Staffing shortages plague Cleveland police as record number leave the...
      New Orleans interim police chief aims to hire civilians in time for...
      “Anyone can get this job”: Memphis police lowered hiring...
  • Tech
    • Austin Police Department launches non-emergency artificial...
      iPhone crash detection feature helps deputies rescue driver from canal
      Nebraska State Patrol uses drone technology to improve traffic flow...
      Dayton greenlights police access to private security camera footage
      Scott City police dispatchers use new technology to livestream...
  • Training
    • U.S. trails in police training
      Denver police recruit has leg amputated after training drill
      Defunding vs. refunding public services
      Apathy is not the problem — leadership is
      Train more effectively with steel targets
  • Policy
    • Opposing POVs on permit-less carry
      Ohio bill would lower minimum age to become a police officer to 18 to...
      Utah bill would allow people with “invisible conditions” to alert...
      Speaking up for K-9 colleagues
      “His death won’t be in vain”: Arkansas passes bill to require...
  • Health/Wellness
    • Nonprofit offers telehealth therapy to upstate New York first...
      A California police department’s new wellness unit aims to improve...
      Massachusetts police department prioritizes officers’ mental health...
      My poor coping strategies
      Heart health
  • Community
    • Central Texas nonprofit to open law enforcement museum in honor of...
      “It was an honor to serve with her”: Kansas first responders...
      Chicago police cook with children to build community relationships
      Wisconsin teen fighting brain cancer becomes police officer for a day
      Texas law enforcement agencies team up to fight cancer
  • Offbeat
    • Texas deputy detains runaway tortoise after “slowest foot...
      Suspect hiding in bathtub in Florida calls 9-1-1 to send deputies to...
      Person in ‘Scream’ costume frightens California community,...
      “Brave and honest” toddler rats out fugitive hiding in Kentucky...
      Thieves in NYC stealing Apple headphones off victims’ heads, police...
  • We Remember
    • Boone County holds fifth annual Jacob Pickett Remembrance Day to...
      Farewell to a “living legend”: Oldest law enforcement officer in...
      “Officer Becerra will never be forgotten”: Colorado police...
      “I had a calling”: Colorado cadet inspired by fallen hero Eric...
      Chicago police remember fallen and injured officers this holiday...
  • Between the Lines
    • The imprisonment of law enforcement technology
      Persecution of the LEO is classic schadenfreude
      The rule of law is worthless without order
      School policing: a paradox of the defund movement
      Defending the honor of the LE profession – finally!
  • About
  • The Magazine
  • Events
  • Partners
  • Products
  • Advertise
  • Contact
Search

Off Duty

How to retire angry

You’ve got years in this pursuit — don’t let your investment slip away

Dave Edmonds Published November 1, 2020 @ 9:27 pm PST

iStock.com/artpuppy

Reflecting on all the changes this job has molded into your life and character, most of you see it as a net plus. Sure, there are some minuses, but still … those changes came slowly; even imperceptibly. Now that you’ve earned your bones and are part of America’s vanguard, you take the good with the bad and you wear it all with honor.

As a culture, we cops don’t like change. Physically, mentally and emotionally — you’ve worked hard to get to where you’re at. You’re no longer that naive, optimistic, do-gooder with his gun belt riding up around his ribcage, going out to save the day. Nope. You know bullshit when you see it. And the truth is, you see it almost everywhere. But when you retire, might you slip back into that pre-LEO, open-minded, forgiving, anesthetized version of you? Heaven forbid. I’m going to show you how to avoid it. 

Out on the mean streets and especially inside those (ahem) “safe” walls of our departments, there’s one predictable response to all the unjust, messed-up, real-world garbage that we experience day after day … and that’s anger. You’d think that decades of knowingly working inside the Cop Matrix would have acclimated you to the continuous disappointments in humanity and department “leadership” so that your blood pressure wouldn’t spike every time your lieutenant walks up … every time the victim can’t be talked out of a report … every time the last shift didn’t gas your car … every time a new waitress doesn’t know the discount policy. But since all of these and oh-so-much-more still reliably explode your inner voice with F-bombs, you can thank God for the resiliency of cop anger. It just doesn’t quit. 

Seeing all we see and doing all we do, anger is our number one go-to emotion. For many of us, it’s even become our defining character trait. But since you don’t like change, just follow my prescriptions and you can be sure that you’ll retire angry, too. 

Of course, the more that anger influences your thoughts, words and actions now, the better off you’ll be later. So I’ve devised this simple test that will help you determine, between now and retirement, just how much work is in front of you. Answer these three questions to learn where you presently are: 

In response to the following sentences, choose the answer that most closely fits: A) Take it to the bank; B) A really safe bet; C) Flip a coin; or D) I’m calling B.S. 

OK, here we go:

  1. Pretty much everyone on my beat is an asshole.
  2. My management is full of incompetent, leg-humping ladder-climbers.
  3. My patrol efforts virtually never make a difference.

Here’s how to score your responses. A=4 points; B=3 points; C=2 points; and D=1 point. 

Now tally your scores:

12 points: Whether you’ve got four years on the beat or 40, you can retire now. Your stomach acid will keep you warm for decades.

8–11 points: While others might say you’re a passive-aggressive pessimist, you simply see yourself as a cold-hearted realist. You’re relatively safe, but still, you’d be wise to transfer to grave shift in the ghetto beat for your last year. 

5–8 points: Hopefully you’re still fairly new? Regardless of the shifts that they’re on, start drinking after work with the cops in your department who have the most IAs, and do it now.

1–4 points: Unless you are in your rookie year, do not skip one thing I’m about to share.

The most reliable question is #1. Because it will accurately measure your current level of anger investment in your job, I call it the alpha-belief. The more you believe that everyone is an asshole now, the better your chances are of retiring angry and staying that way — forever. 

Let’s talk about that word, “investment.” The type I’m talking about is of the emotional variety. Emotional investments are some of the most permanent that you can make. While many emotions flow through us any given day, the singular most life-altering emotion that cops experience is anger. It doesn’t even matter if it’s righteous or unmerited — so long as you’re feeling it, you’re busy investing and this job is changing you. Many of you vets are so reliable here. And committed. You just won’t give up! For decades now, even highly predictable disappointments in humanity (especially in those humans who run your outfit) continue to be fodder for fresh streams of anger coursing through your veins. Even if you retire and find very few people to disappoint you, you’ll be fine. Trust me, you’ll stay angry with your spouse, kids and more. They might even become assholes, too.

There is, by the way, one higher level of emotional investment that some of you disgruntled Jedis have attained, and that’s apathy. If you can feel totally indifferent to other human beings — meaning you absolutely don’t care if they get better or worse, or if they live or they die — then you’ve reached the brass ring. You can get off this ride now because the mold is set. Retirement will never change you. 

You see, this is character-level stuff. It would take decades for you to be able to throttle back from those attitudes. And unlike America’s heroes (yes, firefighters), you’ve seen our pathetic after-retirement longevity stats. Your casket will be glowing with anger. 

But just to be cautious, let me help you safeguard your investments with a few trusty tips. 

Anger is a natural human response to disappointment. But in order for somebody to disappoint you, you must first become emotionally vulnerable to them. Take, for example, your closest loved ones. It’s odd but true, because of all the heart space that they take up, just let one of these people intentionally break a sacred trust. Since you’ve allowed your heart to be so exposed to them, emotionally, your closest loved ones can hurt you the most.  

Understanding this, let’s start considering all those assholes out on your beat. In order to be angry with them, you need to be emotionally vulnerable to them, too. That’s right, you have to let them close to your heart. I know this sounds unprofessional, but still. 

If you scored seven or above, you’ve definitely become vulnerable to these people. You’ve entered into a transactional relationship with them, just like you have with your employer. Your job pays you money, but by allowing yourself to be disappointed and angered by people you don’t even know or care about, you’re exchanging in a much more precious commodity — your emotions — and that’s some of the most life-changing stuff there is. By allowing yourself to be emotionally vulnerable to the crooks on your beat (or that jerk sergeant on your shift), just like your loved ones, over time, they’re changing your character, too. 

Another thing you need to be cautious about is recovery time. For starters, you can go a long way in avoiding it just by working as much overtime as possible. When I say “work,” I don’t really mean work. Just show up for these shifts on as many of your days off as possible. That’s because anger is like water: you have to keep pumping that well in order to keep it flowing. At some point, you’ll have to go home. Still, as best you can, don’t. No need to go to your kid’s baseball game or go out to dinner with your spouse. Maybe end up there, but try to go to a bar or maybe even a girlfriend’s apartment first.

More about recovery: be super-cautious of off-duty creative endeavors. You remember your score above, right? If you find a hobby that takes your mind off work and brings some peace, before you know it you’ll be going from straight-As to D-flats across the board. 

Finally, remember that all four parts of you — your body, mind, emotions and spirit — are all connected. You might think it’s safe to start doing things like regular workout regimens and going to church and stuff like that, but as soon as you start down that path, you’ll see your anger meter start to peter. Don’t! 

By the looks of it, so many of us are doing our absolute best to retire as angry as possible, and then stay that way. I might have made it sound harder than it really is, but don’t be discouraged. Your biggest risk will come by intentionally going out of your way to prevent it. So long as you don’t think about it and just let this job happen to you, I bet you’ll be just fine. An anger-filled retirement awaits!

Dave Edmonds

Dave Edmonds

Dave Edmonds, APB’s contributing editor, is a retired captain (Sonoma County Sheriff’s Office, California) and 34-year veteran. His experiences include SWAT, FTO, sex crimes, homicide, polygraph and internal affairs. He is the founder and director of the free LEO fitness and wellness membership nonprofit 360ARMOR (www.360armor.org), and a powerful, unique police chaplaincy model that you can have in your own community (www.lecf.org). He is currently running for the office of Sheriff of Sonoma County, California. Dave welcomes your calls at (650) 360-1514, or an email at dedmonds@apbweb.com.

View articles by Dave Edmonds

As seen in the November 2020 issue of American Police Beat magazine.
Don’t miss out on another issue today! Click below:

SUBSCRIBE TODAY!

Categories: Off Duty, Health/Wellness, Offbeat

Primary Sidebar

Recent Articles

  • Central Texas nonprofit to open law enforcement museum in honor of police officers and to educate the public
  • Texas deputy detains runaway tortoise after “slowest foot pursuit” ever
  • Time to address the status of women in policing today
  • Police K-9 comforts Michigan State University students returning to class after campus mass shooting
  • Volkswagen acknowledges policy breach after failing to provide Illinois sheriff’s office with GPS location of car carrying abducted toddler
  • Opposing POVs on permit-less carry
  • Boone County holds fifth annual Jacob Pickett Remembrance Day to support law enforcement families
  • Austin Police Department launches non-emergency artificial intelligence reporting system amid staffing shortage
  • U.S. trails in police training
  • Michigan lieutenant completes DoorDash delivery for pregnant driver who got in car accident

Footer

Our Mission
To serve as a trusted voice of the nation’s law enforcement community, providing informative, entertaining and inspiring content on interesting and engaging topics affecting peace officers today.

Contact us: info@apbweb.com | (800) 234-0056.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Categories

  • Editor’s Picks
  • On the Job
  • Labor
  • Tech
  • Training
  • Policy
  • Health/Wellness
  • Community
  • Offbeat
  • We Remember
  • Jobs and Careers
  • Events

Editor’s Picks

The power of teamwork

The power of teamwork

July 23, 2021

Stay awake and alert on the job

Stay awake and alert on the job

July 20, 2021

The worst rank in law enforcement

The worst rank in law enforcement

July 19, 2021

Firearms maintenance

Firearms maintenance

July 04, 2021

Privacy Policy | Copyright © 2023 APB Media, LLC | Website design, development and maintenance by 911MEDIA

Open

Subscribe

Close

Receive the latest news and updates from American Police Beat directly to your inbox!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.