Editor’s note: This article is reprinted with permission from the April issue of FOP Journal, the official publication of the National Fraternal Order of Police.

We frequently share statistics from the FOP biennial Critical Issues in Policing Survey series, important findings that reflect the experiences of the men and women of law enforcement. In papers and publications, in conference presentations and in everyday conversations, we talk about police suicide, how the numbers are still too high (because one is still too many) and the efforts we are making profession-wide to stem the tide of officers dying by their own hand. We talk about wellness programs, suicide prevention training and the impacts of witnessing traumatic events over years as a law enforcement officer. But we seldom talk about a key piece of the law enforcement suicide puzzle: relationships.

The Centers for Disease Control has estimated that approximately 42% of suicides in the United States are connected to a relationship problem.^1[1]Centers for Disease Control. “Vital Signs: Suicide Rising Across the U.S.” November 27, 2018. https://archive.cdc.gov/#/details?url=https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/suicide/index.html. But we don’t talk about our personal relationships in law enforcement, because our culture has historically dictated that we should leave our home lives at home, not bring those things to the workplace. That we separate the personal from work, that we show up to work each and every time clear-headed, leaving any pressures from home behind. Consider how unrealistic that really is. We have learned that for most officers, their families are both their biggest concern and their biggest source of support. Personal relationships play a huge role in human well-being, and, well, police officers are human beings. So why aren’t we recognizing that in our discussions of police suicide?

We don’t talk about our personal relationships in law enforcement, because our culture has historically dictated that we should leave our home lives at home.

This month we want to take some time to talk about the importance of relationships to our well-being. Consider the last time you were really upset or angry about something. Chances are it had something to do with a personal or work relationship issue. Not only can issues with romantic or marital relationships come about in our lives, but also consider relationships with parents, children, close friends and co-workers. Some of the most challenging and stressful situations in our careers stem from conflicts with co-workers or supervisors. Yet we seldom discuss these things in the workplace. Most of the time, even when we know that a co-worker is struggling with a personal relationship, talking about it is off-limits, considered taboo.

So how can we shift our culture or maybe even agency policies to start normalizing talking about, prioritizing and fostering healthy relationships? Based on data from the 2023 Critical Issues in Policing Survey, stigma around mental health is down 11% among law members of law enforcement, meaning that officers are feeling less and less that seeking help in times of struggle is cause for embarrassment. Largely, this reduction in stigma has been achieved by the increase in conversations about mental health in the police workplace. After much work, time and effort dedicated to mental health and wellness, we have finally begun to see conversations about nurturing mental health become more normalized. If we truly want to attack police suicide from all angles, and we know that relationships play a key role in suicide, we must normalize discussions about the impact of the profession on relationships. Here are some other tips for agencies and leaders.

If we truly want to attack police suicide from all angles, we must normalize discussions about the impact of the profession on relationships.

Implement family wellness programming: Many agencies around the country have begun to build programs for officers’ families into their support systems for officers. Beginning in the academy, involving cadets’ family members and educating them about the demands of the job, the potential impacts of trauma and strategies for coping can go a long way toward building a strong foundation of support for those entering the profession. The NFOP Division of Wellness Services is developing a training program for law enforcement families, Blue Family Focus, that will not only help teach families how to support officers, but also build a network of support among law enforcement families. We are excited about this program and anticipate rolling it out later this year.

Consider the impact of work shifts on relationships: While we recognize that it isn’t customary for heads of agencies to consider their employees’ personal relationships, home lives or sleep habits in the course of effectively running a law enforcement agency, it is important if we truly wish to care for the well-being of our employees. Our research shows that officers on rotating shifts report stress on their personal relationships at a rate higher than that of their peers who work fixed shifts, even those working straight nights.

Offer additional support to those known to be separated or going through a divorce: Our survey results show individuals in these personal circumstances as being the most stressed of any relationship status. The end of a personal relationship is often very isolating, one key risk factor for mental health issues and suicide. Keep an extra eye on those folks during this life change, paying attention to shifts in mood and behavior. While some may cope with it extremely well, others may really struggle to get through what may be the hardest time of their lives.

If possible, implement other strategies for supporting officers struggling with personal issues. Train peer support teams to react not only after critical incidents, but in other times of struggle. The Power in Peers course, developed by the FOP, trains peers to provide support to fellow officers not only following critical incidents, but at other times they may benefit from support, including during divorce, workplace conflicts with co-workers and supervisors, and other situations where peer support has not previously been used. Consider including personal days in an officer’s leave bank, to be utilized during family crises. What’s most important as a peer, a supervisor or an agency is sending the message to our officers, through action and not just words, that we care about their complete well-being. While we remain committed to running a productive police workforce, it begins with recognition that healthy and happy employees produce the best work product.