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Humor

Urine trouble

Published February 7, 2020 @ 2:03 am PST

“No wonder she wouldn’t let me use the bathroom in peace.” (iStock.com/Lisa5201)

Criminals try all kinds of ill-conceived ways to get around the law, but as far as we at American Police Beat are aware, this is a new one.

Julie Miller from Kentucky recently had to provide a urine sample to her probation officer for a drug screening. Knowing she would fail the drug test, she didn’t want to provide her own urine. That part isn’t exactly groundbreaking; people regularly try to get around drug tests with urine that isn’t theirs.

But Miller went a step further in her quest to avoid being reprimanded. No doubt thinking she was being clever, she didn’t just use urine that wasn’t hers — she used urine that wasn’t from a human.

“The officer asked if the urine was hers and she admitted it was not; that it was her dog’s urine,” the Pineville P.D. said in a press release. “She was asked by Officer Smith if it was brought in because she knew she would fail the drug test, and she stated yes. She said her test would show she had used methamphetamine and Suboxene.”

Police arrested Miller on a charge of tampering with physical evidence. She was later served with a probation violation and a trafficking in controlled substances warrant by the Bell County Sheriff’s Department.

Let this be a lesson to criminals everywhere — if you try to cheat the police, you’re only going to make things worse for yourself.

As seen in the February 2020 issue of American Police Beat magazine.
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