Employees are encouraged to recognize and maintain a clear distinction between suitable professional interaction and patronizing behavior toward their supervisors. While most workers naturally seek positive relationships with their superiors and hope their performance will be acknowledged, my experience is that excessive or sycophantic behavior rarely leads to favorable outcomes. As this article will reflect, in many instances, the inappropriate closeness with the boss is not necessarily desired, but a de facto expectation related to career well-being.

I have experienced these types of troubling realities across various levels of leadership and in multiple organizations.

Visible forms of unnecessary association

One of the most noticeable forms of unnecessary association occurs during departmental events or functions. Here, some employees may attempt to position themselves close to the boss, hoping for increased “face time.” However, this strategy is often recognized by both leaders and peers, and while it may offer some short-term benefits, it tends to damage the individual’s credibility with both the boss and fellow employees. 

Patronizing behaviors become particularly apparent when employees pursue social connections with their boss outside of work. Examples include joining the boss’s church, purchasing a motorcycle to join the boss’s riding group or acquiring a motorhome to participate in weekend group campouts. Although these actions may provide limited advantages in the short term, they typically result in negative consequences over time.

Patronizing behaviors become particularly apparent when employees pursue social connections with their boss outside of work.

Financial and political entanglements

The hazards of financial entanglements with a superior are worthy of special consideration. Most of us, including our superiors, are often seeking to improve our positions or portfolios through investments, “flipping” properties, joint property acquisitions, various types of endorsements, cosigning on purchases and any number of situations where the involvement of additional persons can be helpful. The adage that the best way to lose a friend is to loan that friend money continues to be very wise and especially applicable to situations where the friend is your boss! Bosses come and go, but financial headaches, litigation and credit ratings can last for a long time and serve as justification to diplomatically run as far and fast as you can if a superior solicits your involvement in any activities that have the potential to be problematic.

Political and other types of endorsements can also become very problematic. Just about everyone has issues and individuals they support or disagree with, and most of us are appreciative of others who share our perspectives. Many of us occasionally sign petitions or recommend endorsements; this is fine and appropriate, but not if the emphasis comes from the request of a superior. Even a polite declination can be cause for concern that the status of the declining subordinate may be subtly resented by the boss. Equally as troubling, or perhaps even more so, is to go on record for a position or person that may be problematic in the future. If there are going to be any adverse consequences, let them be the result of your choice and not that of a boss who twisted your arm for a signature.

Ultimately, the credibility of both the sycophant and any leader who tolerates such conduct suffers.

Social pressures and family impact

A big problem can be the unhappy boss who is single or in an unhappy relationship and likes to have social gatherings with just “the boys” or “the girls,” and realistically draws those involved away from their families. I have witnessed too many occasions where the boss at the end of the day invites their subordinates to “join me for a few drinks” when the invitees (and their families!) want to be home. This troublesome reality can also involve weekend outings (fishing trips, etc.) with just “the guys” or “the gals.” Spouses can get very tired and resentful of their mates who put workplace relationships ahead of family activities.

Consequences of sycophantic behavior

Most intelligent leaders recognize these behaviors and are rarely impressed. In fact, they often dislike when one employee monopolizes their attention, which can limit the interaction the boss has with others in the workforce. Additionally, sycophantic actions are evident to all other employees, leading to unimpressed colleagues and resentment over reduced access to leadership. Ultimately, the credibility of both the sycophant and any leader who tolerates such conduct suffers, often significantly. 

Employees who align themselves closely with one individual frequently face professional setbacks if that person leaves the organization or experiences a decline in their professional standing. An additional challenge can arise when an employee recognizes the problems with inappropriate closeness and attempts to scale back from the relationship, potentially creating the perception of betrayal to the boss. The long-term effects of this behavior can be severe, impacting both the employee’s reputation and career trajectory.

Lessons from experience

To the extent that I have any wisdom, it is often a consequence of my personal scar tissue, and this overall topic is not an exception. Many years ago, I offered an empty bedroom in my home to a superior military officer who had just transferred into the command, “just until he got settled and could arrange for other accommodations.” He turned out to be an alcoholic, and the complimentary temporary arrangement lasted for a couple of years! When he was ultimately transferred elsewhere, those with whom he had a close relationship, including me because of the career hazard of giving him the boot from my home, experienced some well-deserved damage to our credibility for our associations with that “unique” person.

A final thought

To illustrate one of many potential downsides of sycophantic behavior, consider the image of a very cold and unhappy wife riding on the back of a motorcycle during a long trip with her husband, who is a sycophant, and the boss. This anecdote humorously highlights the discomfort and unintended consequences that often accompany such efforts to gain favor.