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Offbeat

New Jersey police turn to social media to warn (and joke) about snow storm

APB Team Published February 6, 2022 @ 6:00 am PST

Fair Lawn P.D.

Local police departments in New Jersey took to Facebook to forecast about an oncoming snow storm, and used comedy to get the message across.

The majority of police announcements were standard: sharing meteorologist weather reports or reminding the public about snow removal, parking tips, keeping snow off fire hydrants and urging members of the community to stay home following the state of emergency due to the weather conditions.

However, a few departments couldn’t resist lightning the mood with some humor.

One of these was the Fair Lawn Police Department.

“It’s going to be snowing this evening into tomorrow evening. You know the deal. We say the roads are going to be bad, tell you to stay home, most of you do, some of you can’t. Some of you like to slide around to pick up snacks at 7/11. It is what it is,” the department joked on Facebook.

The Roxbury Township Police Department also seemed to be inspired by the snow to make a few jokes.

“We are expecting anywhere from 0 to 72 inches, with no start or end time … kinda par for the course these days. We have a few housekeeping issues we would like to remind some of you, not all of you, and ‘you’ know which category ‘you’ fall into,” their announcement read.

The department clarified: “Do not park your vehicle on the street. If you keep your vehicle on the street the town cannot efficiently plow. If they can’t plow, you will be the one responsible for your road looking like a halfpipe at the 2022 Winter Olympics, your neighbors will hate you.”

Roxbury Township police did not bother limiting their advice to a formal mode of address, and instead took the opportunity to crack a few jokes about TikTok dances.

“Do not shovel, plow, heave or lob the snow from your driveway into the street or sidewalks. And while we are on the topics of sidewalks … they need to be cleared too. Many of our seniors in town could use a hand getting their sidewalks clear. Get your kids out there, if they hesitate, tell them then you’re going to spend all afternoon learning TikTok dances and threaten to post them, watch how fast they grab the shovel. Magic. Let’s be honest, some of you will be posting TikTok dances regardless,” the post continued.

The Scotch Plains Police Department also didn’t hold back.

“So the weather is shaping up a little more and the crowds are rushing out for French toast supplies,” the department simply stated.

“Current flurries will continue most of the day. This is the pretend storm. If you have trouble driving in the pretend storm, please stay home or take the bus during the real storm,” the department quipped. Their final message was to “stay safe and warm” because experts were unsure of the severity of the storm.

The Montville Township Police Department posted a lengthy and somewhat passive aggressive update about the storm.

“As best we can tell, keeping in mind we are NOT the meteorologists, the main event for snow will begin later this evening and continue through Saturday …”

After giving an estimation for snowfall in inches, police reminded the public to be asleep at night and to not make life more difficult for them.

“Snowfall rates of 1+ per hour are possible during the overnight hours as we move into Saturday. Blowing and drifting snow with possible near whiteout to blizzard conditions remain possible with this storm system. The good news is … YOU (not us) should ALL be sleeping while this is occurring!”

Categories: Offbeat Tags: Police, New Jersey, social media, Facebook, snow storm, comedy, jokes, Fair Lawn Police Department, Roxbury Township, weather

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