As I share my journey, my purpose is to let grieving parents know they are not alone. I am a Concerns of Police Survivors (C.O.P.S.) survivor and a surviving mother. I lost my son, Officer Ivorie G. Klusmann, who was killed in the line of duty on August 10, 2013, in DeKalb County, Georgia. His loss was devastating to me and our entire family.

When the news came, there was no gentle knock — just blue lights flashing through our windows, shattering our world. The shock and heartbreak were beyond words. Ivorie left behind two sons, six siblings and his loving parents. He was known for his radiant, million-dollar smile and a personality that lit up every room. People loved him — even those he pulled over. His dedication to his role as a police officer was unwavering, and he took great pride in serving his community. Ivorie served alongside his younger brother, Elisha Blue. They were inseparable on the force — brothers in life and in service. Their bond was something special.

After our lives were shattered, I traveled to Washington, D.C., for National Police Week to honor my son among other fallen heroes. I don’t remember much from that time because I was still deep in grief, but I do remember how fantastic the experience was — and how C.O.P.S. helped carry me through my pain.

I met Mr. Roger from C.O.P.S., who encouraged me to attend the Parents Weekend. When I first attended in 2013, I was overwhelmed with pain and heartbreak. I didn’t know what to expect. I saw other parents grieving — some crying, some laughing — and I honestly did not want to be there. I felt like no one truly understood my pain.

But by the end of that weekend, I felt surrounded by love from parents who knew exactly what I was feeling. It was powerful to connect with people who understood the unique pain of losing a child in the line of duty — especially when you still have other children and, without realizing it, you’ve shut them out. C.O.P.S. helped me begin putting my family back together.

One of the counselors, Reverend Chuck, showed me God’s love in such a powerful way during that weekend. One moment that still touches my heart happened when I went into a small store at the weekend center. I saw a little brown puppy in the window and wanted to buy it, but it was already sold. I returned to my room feeling disappointed. When I opened the door, the puppy was sitting on my pillow. That moment reminded me that God was still watching over me, even in my pain. It was as if the surprise gift reassured me that joy could return to my life and that I was still cared for despite the darkness of grief.

For the past 12 years, I have attended the C.O.P.S. Parents Weekends and participated in the Fort Worth Survivor Weekend. When C.O.P.S. invited me to share my journey with other parents, I felt deeply honored and wholeheartedly agreed.

When I shared my story at Surviving to Thriving, the room was filled with survivors. I didn’t realize how many lives I touched — especially adult child survivors. Many shared that they, too, had felt ignored as their parents struggled with grief.

Over 12 years of attending Parents Weekend and other survivor events, I have grown stronger emotionally, spiritually and physically. I have learned to lean on God for my strength. Now, each C.O.P.S. Weekend is a blessing: I support first-time parents and reconnect with old friends who have walked this journey alongside me.

C.O.P.S. creates a loving environment for healing through laughter, dancing, movies, fishing, cooking, counseling sessions and meaningful conversations. One of the most special moments is the night of dancing and honoring parents who have gone home to be with the Lord.

C.O.P.S. does so much for surviving parents — many of whom bear unimaginable pain. I find joy in helping others smile again. By the end of each retreat, everyone knows Dianne Blue — by my smile, my dancing and the heartfelt conversations I share with other parents.

Our family will always cherish our son’s memory — his smile, his love and his joy. I encourage other surviving parents to reach out and connect with those
who are walking the same path. Trust that God will place the right people in your life, bringing comfort and understanding along the way.

We are survivors. Your child’s memory will forever live in your heart and in the hearts of all who loved them. I am grateful to C.O.P.S. for allowing me to serve other parents and to God for continually healing my heart.

For more information about C.O.P.S. and its programs for surviving families and colleagues of fallen law enforcement officers, visit concernsofpolicesurvivors.org.