You started the job when times were different, when the job was different, when the community may have treated you differently and when the nation perceived the profession differently. You may have read or heard about how to emotionally survive a law enforcement career (e.g., getting off the hypervigilance rollercoaster, taking aggressive control of time management, engaging in regular and ongoing physical fitness), but how do you fall back in love with policing? How do you bring back that loving feeling and have that sense of exuberance to start the shift, that sense of timelessness on a call, that feeling of never wanting the workday to end? 

Self-reflection

It is possible to fall back in love with policing. To begin the process, reflect on your relationship with the profession. 

• Why did you choose a career in law enforcement? What drew you into law enforcement to begin with? What is it that really attracted you? Did you want to catch the bad guys, protect and serve, work in an honorable profession and have a secure paycheck?
• What did you like about law enforcement? Did you like being a hero to the underdog, the less fortunate and even the common person? Did you like looking sharp, being fit in mind and body, working out on duty and not sitting behind a desk? Maybe you liked that no day is the same.
• What did you have in common with law enforcement? Do you believe in the rule of law and order? Are you realistic, honest and trustworthy? Are you a hands-on learner? Perhaps you are a natural leader who thrives at influencing others.
• How much time do you spend in law enforcement now? Is it the same as when you started, or has it changed significantly? If it is significantly more or less, then consider whether you are overworked, burned out, cynical, negatively impacted by cumulative stress or trauma, or otherwise in need of significant rest and recovery time away from the grind of fighting the good fight.
• Is there anything you still enjoy about policing? Do you still appreciate the band of brothers? Do you still relish the adrenaline rush of chasing the bad guys? Do you still thank your lucky stars that you are not sitting behind a desk 40 hours a week?

Why do you think you fell out of love with policing? 

• Policing isn’t the same as it used to be? This is probably the most common reason. But consider whether you are the same person you used to be. The answer is probably no. Professions, like people, grow and change. In order to maintain a strong relationship and identity, both people and professions need to grow and change together and with respect for one another.
• Are you no longer attracted to the profession? Attitude and self-confidence tend to be the root. Falling back in love with policing isn’t entirely dependent on your attraction to the profession. It is possible to help continue to shape the profession into an even better version of itself. You can do this by rolling up your sleeves and getting involved.
• The profession no longer seems interested in you? Many fall out of love with a person or a profession because they believe that person or profession no longer loves them. This is precisely the root cause — one’s negative beliefs about the other. In turn, this becomes a vicious cycle. Check your thoughts. If they are not helping the situation, consult with the police psychologist who can help you get back on track with the career that you really (deep down inside) do love.
• You’re not sure why you fell out of love? You can’t pinpoint where things went wrong? You may have your own issues that you need to tackle, and these issues are negatively impacting the love you have — or should have — for your honorable profession. Again, consult with the police psychologist to clarify things. This will allow you to make optimal decisions for yourself about the profession and your life.

Be determined to try

Talk to your work partner. In a foxhole, the world shrinks to the man on your left and the man on your right. Our partners always have our backs, so talk to your partner. Tell them what’s really going on. Tell them what’s missing. And if you think that you can’t talk to your partner or trusted colleague, then now’s the time to consult with the police psychologist.

Express appreciation. Feeling appreciated helps create positive feelings of affinity. It can also build upon itself. That means that even if you don’t feel appreciated, taking the initiative to express appreciation at work for colleagues, the community, the department and/or the profession itself helps you begin to feel the appreciation more actively reciprocated by the other. Try this at home, too, with your spouse.

Reenact things that were special. When you first fell in love with the profession, there were likely places, things or events that really meant something to you. Reenact those things again to jump-start feelings. Get together with your academy classmate. Work out with your buddy before the start of your shift. Dive into a case you really care about. 

Try something new. Boredom is often mistaken for lack of love. To help you fall back in love with the profession, it is important to do things that stave off boredom, inspire interest and keep your mind engaged. Consider attending a first responder retreat, starting a fitness challenge at work, participating in the Police Unity Tour, creating an annual walk to prevent suicide in your department, volunteering in the local community or joining a national police association that impacts departments around the world. 

Seek help. Meet with your physician for a full physical exam and to rule out any medical causes (e.g., sleep apnea, chronic pain). The M.D. can also prescribe what is needed.  Meet with the police psychologist for a wellness check and to rule out any relevant mental health issues (e.g., depression, traumatic stress, substance abuse, sleep disorders, burnout). The police psychologist can also teach you specific hands-on skills for distress tolerance (what concretely to do when your distress spikes at work) and effective interpersonal communication (how to appropriately express your needs at work and how to express appreciation for others even when you’re not feeling it). 

What to take away

Falling in love is exciting and makes us feel hopeful and inspired. But it’s also essential to set realistic expectations, understand that nothing happens overnight and persevere when things really matter to you.

Keep in mind that love evolves over time. Falling back in love with policing means reflecting on your relationship to the profession (as it was and as it is now), and then finding the disconnect. Talk to your partner. Express appreciation and utilize effective interpersonal communication at work. Return to doing activities that really meant something to you and, beyond that, try something new to put more sizzle in your daily grind. Seek help from your physician and the police psychologist to rule out various health problems, teach skills and provide additional support to help you achieve what you really want most.

You can have a more profound and fulfilling connection to policing. You can take action to strengthen the bond. You can fall back in love with policing, and it can be better and stronger than ever before.